Peter: Alright, so Jeremiah 47. Let's see. So, uh, it starts out with the Lord telling Jeremiah to prophesy against the Philistines for their attack on Gaza. He says that a great tumult is coming from the north, and it's gonna be like a hurricane.

Lois: (gasps) Just like that episode of The Bachelor!

Peter: Uh, yeah, Lois, I think that's a bit different. Anyway, the Lord says it's gonna be like the destruction of the ancient Egyptians, and that He's gonna put an end to their pride.

Stewie: Hey! Like that time we tried to put an end to our Aunt Ruthie's pride with a rousing game of 'Humiliate the Old Lady'!

Brian: Uh, Stewie, I don't think that's really relevant.

Stewie: Fine, I'll stop.

Peter: So anyway, then the Lord talks about how the Philistines will be conquered and their cities will be destroyed. He says they'll be so terrified that their hearts will melt, and they won't be able to stand before their enemies. Then He says that He'll send a plague on the Philistines and destroy them with a mighty destruction.

Lois: Wow. That's pretty intense.

Peter: Yeah, it sure is. But then the Lord promises to restore the Philistine's fortunes, so that's a good thing.

Brian: Yeah, it's like that time I was restored to my former good fortune when I finally got the car back from that guy who had borrowed it and never returned it.

Lois: Yes, that was a fortunate turn of events.

Peter: Alright, so that's Jeremiah 47.