Peter: Alright, so Ecclesiastes 1. That's pretty deep stuff. Lois: No kidding! Solomon is talking about how everything is meaningless and nothing is new. Brian: Yeah, like when The Office was still on the air. →

Peter: Alright, so Ecclesiastes 2. Let me see if I can summarize this one. So basically, it's like, King Solomon tried to find joy in all sorts of materialistic stuff, like fancy clothes, music, and all that stuff, but it was all pretty pointless, ya know? →

Peter: Alright, so Ecclesiastes 3. Here goes nothin'! Lois: Oh, boy. Peter: To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. Stewie: Is this a quote? Lois: Yes, honey. →

Cleveland: Hey, so what did we learn from Ecclesiastes this time? Peter: Well, it's all about living life to the fullest and realizing that friends can be just as valuable as family. Lois: That's a nice thought, Peter, but there's more to it than that. →

Peter: Ok, so Ecclesiastes 5 starts out by saying that when you make a promise, you should be sure to do it, because when you don't it's like making a wish to a Genie in a Bottle and then not following through. →

Peter: Alright, so Ecclesiastes 6 is all about how it's better to have a good name than to have a lot of money. Lois: Oh, Peter, that's so true. Money can't buy you happiness. Brian: Uh, yeah, but it can buy you a lot of beer. →

Peter: Alright, this one is Ecclesiastes 7. Lois: What does it say? Peter: Well, it starts off with a proverb about how a good name is better than expensive perfume. Brian: That's pretty deep. Stewie: I don't understand it, so it must be deep. →

Peter: Alright, so this Ecclesiastes 8. Here we go. "Who is like the wise man? And who knows the interpretation of a thing? A man's wisdom makes his face shine, and the sternness of his face is changed" (Ecclesiastes 8:1). →

Peter: Alright, so here we go: Ecclesiastes 9. It's about, like, life and death, and how everything is meaningless, y'know? Lois: Peter, you don't have to be so depressing. Peter: Nah, I'm not. It just says that, like, life and death, they don't matter 'cause we're all gonna die anyway. →

Peter Griffin: Alright, so Ecclesiastes 10. Let's see here…mmmm, looks like it's about the power of words. Uh, yeah, so it says "Dead flies putrefy the perfumer's ointment, and cause it to give off a foul odor; so does a little folly to one respected for wisdom and honor. →

Peter: Alright, so Ecclesiastes 11. Let's start with the first verse: "Cast thy bread upon the waters: for thou shalt find it after many days." Lois: Is that like what they do at Panera Bread? Brian: No, Lois, it's a metaphor. →

1-7 Peter: Alright, so Ecclesiastes 12:1-7. Here we go. "Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come and the years draw near when you will say, 'I find no pleasure in them. →