Peter: Alright, so in this chapter of the Bible, Genesis 34, Dinah, the daughter of Jacob, goes out to visit some of the women of the land.

Lois: Uh-oh, she's going native.

Brian: Yeah, like when the Fresh Prince goes to Bel-Air.

Cleveland: But then Shechem, the son of Hamor the Hivite prince sees her and falls in love with her.

Peter: Oh no, he's trying to make Dinah his wife!

Joe: Like when Ross and Rachel got married in Vegas!

Lois: Oh, so Jacob's sons hear about this and they're really mad. They tell Shechem and Hamor that if they want to marry Dinah, they have to be circumcised.

Cleveland: Yeah, it was like when Kim Kardashian got married to Kris Humphries.

Brian: So Shechem and Hamor agree to the terms, and they're circumcised. But while they're recovering, Jacob's sons sneak in and loot the city and take Dinah away.

Joe: Ugh, Jacob's sons were like the villains in a Marvel movie!

Peter: Yeah, and then Jacob gets mad at them for doing that and tells them they're not allowed to marry local women.

Lois: And then everyone lives happily ever after.

Cleveland: Well, except for Shechem and Hamor.

Brian: Yeah, they got a raw deal. Just like when Batman v Superman came out.