"Listen up, maggots! This is Genesis 34! Dinah, daughter of Jacob, was taken by a man from the land of Shechem. Her brothers, Simeon and Levi, were so upset that they tricked all the men of Shechem into being circumcised, and then killed them when they were all weak and defenseless. When Jacob found out what his sons did, he was mad at them, but they didn't care. Jacob then left the land, and God told him to go to Bethel. That's it! Dismissed!"