ATTENTION! Listen up, maggots! This is Genesis 49 and it's gonna be short and sweet. Jacob is blessing his twelve sons and predicting what will happen to their tribes in the future. Reuben, you're first. He's gonna be unstable and not have the power he once had. Simeon and Levi, you two are next. You will be scattered because of your anger and violence. Judah, you're gonna be the leader. You will have respect and power. You will have kings in your tribe. The other sons of Jacob get similar blessings and predictions. That's it! That's Genesis 49. Now move it!