ATTENTION! LISTEN UP! This here is Ezekiel 1! Ezekiel is a prophet of the Lord and in this chapter, he gets a vision of God's glory. He sees four creatures with four faces - a man, a lion, an ox, and an eagle - and each one has four wings. →

LISTEN UP, MAGGOTS! This here's Ezekiel 2. The Lord sends Ezekiel to the Israelites. He says they've been rebellious and stiff-necked, and that they need to listen up. He tells Ezekiel to warn the people of their wickedness, but they won't listen. →

Recruits! Listen up! This is Ezekiel 3. Ezekiel was in exile in Babylon, and he was called to be a prophet—a messenger from God. God told Ezekiel to listen carefully to what he was saying, and to obey what he commanded. →

Listen up, maggots! This here is God talking: Ezekiel, you’re gonna be a living symbol. Take a brick and draw a city on it. Then make a wall out of bricks and surround the city. Get yourself a model of a siege and build it up against the city. →

Listen up, ya maggots! This is Ezekiel 5. It starts off with God telling Ezekiel to take a sharp razor to his head and scalp. Now, you might be asking yourselves why in the world God would want him to do that. →

Listen up! Ezekiel 6 is about God's judgment on the Israelites for their idolatry. He's mad about all the false gods they've been worshipping and he's gonna do something about it. He tells Ezekiel to preach to the people and warn them of what's to come. →

LISTEN UP MAGGOTS! Ezekiel 7 is all about God's punishment for all the wickedness the Israelites be doin'. This punishment is gonna be bad. Real bad. God's gonna send a bunch of enemy nations to attack the Israelites. →

Listen up, maggots! This is Ezekiel 8. This here is a vision the Lord gave Ezekiel. He takes him to Jerusalem, where he sees 25 men worshipping a bunch of pagan idols. Lord's not happy. He's mad. He shows Ezekiel an abomination that's happening in the temple. →

Listen up, maggots! Chapter 9 of Ezekiel is all about punishment. God's gonna punish the city of Jerusalem and all of the people who live there 'cause they've been disobeying the Lord. But first, God sends an angel with a mark on his forehead. →

Ya'll listen up! Ezekiel 10 is all about God's chariot, and how he's gonna take it out for a spin. He's calling all the angels to join him, but he's also got some SERIOUS anger issues and he's gonna rain down some fire and brimstone on the Israelites. →

Listen up, recruits! This is Ezekiel 11. God sent me to speak to the people of Jerusalem. He's not happy with them. They've been following false gods, and worshipping idols. God's gonna punish them, but he's gonna have me deliver his message first. →

Listen up, maggots! Ezekiel 12 is about the LORD sending a warning to His people, the Israelites. He's tellin' 'em that if they don't wise up and start acting right, they gonna be exiled. So the LORD is gonna make it happen, He's gonna send a big sign to show 'em what's what. →

"LISTEN UP, RECRUITS! EZEKIEL 13 IS ALL ABOUT FALSE PROPHETS. THESE LIARS ARE PREACHING FALSEHOODS, BUT DON'T BE FOOLED BY THEM! GOD IS TELLING EZEKIEL TO WARN THEM AND TELL THEM TO SHUT UP. GOD SAYS THAT IF THESE FALSE PROPHETS DON'T STOP THEIR LIES, HE'LL JUDGE THEM AND PUNISH THEM. →

Listen up, recruits! Ezekiel 14 starts off with a lot of 'ifs' - IF a bunch of sinners come to the prophet looking for God's message, THEN God will answer them with a warning. THEN He'll give 'em a list of disasters that'll come if they don't repent, AND THEN they'll know that God's punishing their evil ways. →

Attention! Ezekiel 15 is about a useless vine. Yahweh says that the vine is like a burning brand plucked from the fire. It is so useless that it can’t even be used for fuel. So don’t try to make it into anything else, it’s worthless! So don’t even bother! That’s the message of Ezekiel 15! Dismissed! →

Attention, new recruits! Listen up! Ezekiel 16 is all about God's people, Israel, and how they kept turning away from Him. God chose them to be His special people, but they kept on rebelling against Him. →

Drop and give me twenty, you maggots! You've been assigned Ezekiel chapter 17 and you better pay attention, cause this ain't no Sunday school. This chapter is about a big eagle and a little cedar tree. The big eagle is King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon, and that scrawny little cedar tree is a metaphor for Israel. →

Listen up, maggots! This is Ezekiel 18! In this chapter, God explains that each person is responsible for their own sins. He doesn't punish an entire household for the sins of one individual. God also says that if an individual has sinned, but turns away from their sin and does what is right, then they will be forgiven. →

Ya' hear me, maggots? This here's Ezekiel 19. We got a riddle fer ya. It's all 'bout a lioness, her cubs, and a vine. The lioness is a metaphor fer Judah, the cubs fer Jerusalem, and the vine fer Israel. →

"LISTEN UP, RECRUITS! IT'S TIME FOR EZEKIEL CHAPTER 20! GOD'S MAD AT YA'LL. HE'S REALLY, REALLY MAD! HE'S MAD CAUSE YA'LL KEEP BREAKING HIS LAWS AND DOING BAD THINGS. SO HE'S GONNA PUNISH YA'LL BY TAKING YA'LL OUT OF YA'LL'S HOMELAND AND SCATTERING YA'LL ALL OVER THE PLACE. →

Listen up, maggots! This is Ezekiel 21. Yahweh is angry at the people of Judah and tells Ezekiel that He's gonna send a sword against them. He says the sword is gonna cut down the righteous and the wicked, and no one's gonna be able to save anyone from it. →

LISTEN UP, MAGGOTS! THIS IS EZEKIEL CHAPTER 22! GOD IS MAD AT JERUSALEM FOR THEIR WICKEDNESS AND ABOMINATIONS. HE'S SICK OF THEIR IDOLATRY, MURDER, ADULTERY, AND WICKEDNESS. GOD IS CALLING OUT THE LEADERS FOR NOT DOING ANYTHING TO STOP THE WICKEDNESS. →

Listen up, recruits! Chapter 23 of Ezekiel is where it's at! This chapter is all about two sisters, Oholah and Oholibah. Oholah was from Samaria and Oholibah from Jerusalem. These two sisters were promiscuous and had a lot of lovers. →

ATTENTION! LISTEN UP! THIS IS EZEKIEL 24! YA'LL BETTER PAY ATTENTION! GOD'S GIVEN A MESSAGE THROUGH EZEKIEL! YA'LL NEED TO HEAR IT! GOD'S GONNA PUNISH JERUSALEM FOR THEIR SINS. YA'LL BETTER BELIEVE IT! HE'S GONNA WIPE IT OUT FOR GOOD! YA'LL BETTER FEAR HIM! →

Listen up! This Ezekiel 25 is all about God punishing the Ammonites for their wickedness and making them pay for their sins. The Lord is going to send fire and brimstone down on them and send them into exile. →

Alright, listen up maggots! This here is Ezekiel Chapter 26. This chapter is all about God's punishment of the city of Tyre. God is gonna punish Tyre for *all* the nations it has wronged. He'll make it a bare rock and destroy its walls, towers, and gates. →

ATTENTION! Listen up! This is Ezekiel 27! It starts with a looooong song about a ship. This ship is like a symbol for God's people, sailing around on the sea of life. But the song doesn't stop there. It keeps going on about how great the ship is, and how it has lots of different parts that come from many different places. →

EZEKIEL 28: You maggots! Listen up! It's time to learn what Ezekiel 28 is all about. This chapter is about the King of Tyre. Apparently, this king was really proud of himself and thought he was some kind of god. →

"You hear me, recruits? This is Ezekiel 29. You got Pharaoh of Egypt on the brain? I want you to listen up! This is the word from the Lord: He's gonna bring the hammer down on Pharaoh and all of Egypt. That's right - the Lord's gonna bring destruction and send them into exile. →

Ezekiel 30: Ya hear me, recruits? This one's about Egypt. God's gonna bring down the hammer on Egypt and the cities of Pathros and Noph. God's gonna burn up their weapons, and then, THEN, Egypt's gonna be brought low as the other nations. →

All right, listen up! Ezekiel 31 tells us about Pharaoh and the fall of Egypt. The Lord comes to Ezekiel in a vision and tells him that Pharaoh was like a great cedar tree, strong and tall, but that his pride and arrogance led to his downfall. →

Aye, listen up! Ezekiel 32 is all about God's punishment of Egypt, who is described as a 'monster' in the river. It's gonna be bad, real bad, 'cause God's gonna send a bunch of wild animals to attack 'em. →

1-20 Listen up, new recruits! Ezekiel 33 tells you 'bout a Watchman! A watchman's job is to sound the alarm when danger is near, and that's exactly what God tells Ezekiel to do. He tells Ezekiel to warn the people of Israel about their wickedness and rebellion. →

"Listen up, you maggots! Ezekiel 34 is all about God's anger at the shepherds of Israel. He's mad that they're not taking care of His people, so He's going to step in and take care of them Himself. He's gonna be like a shepherd who takes care of His flock, providing them with food and water, and protecting them from their enemies. →

EYE-ZEK-EE-EL! Pay attention! Chapter 35. You got Edom, you got mountains of Seir. God's mad at Edom for some beef they got goin' with the Israelites. God's gonna make Edom desolate, so much so that it's gonna be an astonishment, an everlasting desolation. →

HEY YOU NO GOOD MAGGOTS! YA'LL BETTER START PAYIN' ATTENTION! THIS CHAPTER'S ABOUT PROMISES FROM GOD TO THE ISRAELITES. HE'S GONNA GIVE 'EM A NEW HEART AND A NEW SPIRIT, GONNA MAKE 'EM BETTER THAN WHEN THEY STARTED. →

Listen up, maggots! This is Ezekiel 37. This chapter is about dry bones. Y'see, God takes Ezekiel to a valley full of bones, and he tells Ezekiel to prophesy to them. He does, and the bones come together and form a huge army. →

"Listen up, newbies! This is Ezekiel 38. You better pay attention! We got Gog from Magog, and he's on the move. He's gathering an army of enemies and coming to attack Israel. God's gonna fight for Israel and protect them from Gog and his army. →

Y'all listen up! Chapter 39 of Ezekiel is gonna talk about God's judgment against Gog, chief prince of Meshech and Tubal. God's gonna bring a whole mess of armies on 'em and there's gonna be a great slaughter. →

"Listen up, maggots! You better get it all straight about Ezekiel 40, or you're gonna be in for a world of hurt! This chapter is all about Ezekiel's vision of a new temple and its measurements. Ezekiel is taken to Jerusalem, and he is shown the exact measurements of the new temple, the gateways, the outer wall, and the chambers inside. →

"Listen up! Ezekiel 41 is all about the Temple. It's full of measurements and details of the Temple. Basically, it's a giant house for God! Then, there's a description of the walls, and the chambers, and the doorways. →

Ya'll listen up! I'm gonna give ya the low-down on Ezekiel 42. This chapter is all about the measurements of the inner temple. Here's the play-by-play: It starts off with God's angel measuring the inner eastern gate and its chambers and porches. →

Listen up, folks! This is Ezekiel 43. God's glory is returning to the temple and it's gonna be big. He's gonna fill the temple with his glory, and the people of Israel will see his power. The altar will be set up and the sacrifices will be offered up to God. →

Listen up recruits! Ezekiel Chapter 44 is all about the priests. God is telling the priests that they need to stick to their duties that He has given them. No more straying from the path! He also tells them what they are NOT allowed to do. →

LISTEN UP, RECRUITS! THIS IS EZEKIEL CHAPTER 45. Y'ALL BETTER PAY ATTENTION, OR I'M GONNA MAKE YOU DO PUSHUPS. IT'S ABOUT THE HOLY PRIESTS AND THEIR DIVISION OF THE LAND. 'CAUSE Y'ALL NEED TO KNOW THIS STUFF. →

Hear me, maggots! Ezekiel 46 is about God's rules for the Temple in Jerusalem. He tells the people that the Prince will be allowed to make a sacrifice each week and on special days. God also tells the people to give a tenth of their income to the Temple and to the poor. →

Listen up, maggots! In Ezekiel 47, God takes Ezekiel to a river and shows him how it grows deeper and wider until it's so deep you can't cross it. He also sees trees on the banks of the river, trees that bring healing and life. →

LISTEN UP, RECRUITS! EZEKIEL 48 IS ALL ABOUT THE BOUNDARIES OF THE NEW JERUSALEM. THE LORD IS GIVING INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW BIG THE CITY SHOULD BE, HOW IT SHOULD BE DIVIDED INTO TRIBES, AND WHERE THE TEMPLE SHOULD GO. →