"Listen up, newbies! This is Ezekiel 38. You better pay attention! We got Gog from Magog, and he's on the move. He's gathering an army of enemies and coming to attack Israel. God's gonna fight for Israel and protect them from Gog and his army. He's gonna send fire and brimstone and a great earthquake. Gog and his army will be destroyed and left for the birds to eat. Got it?"