1-3 "LISTEN UP, RECRUITS! THIS IS NUMBERS 1:1-3. THE LORD GAVE MOSES INSTRUCTIONS TO TAKE A CENSUS OF ALL THE MEN IN ISRAEL OVER THE AGE OF 20. EACH TRIBE HAD TO PROVIDE A LIST OF THE NAMES OF THEIR MALE HEADS OF HOUSEHOLDS. →

Listen up, maggots! This here is Numbers 2. This chapter's all about the Israelites getting organized. They set up a camp, with each tribe in its own spot. East side's got Judah, Issachar, and Zebulun. South side's got Reuben, Simeon, and Gad. →

LISTEN UP! YOU MAGGOTS! THIS IS THE STORY OF NUMBERS 3! The Lord told Moses and Aaron to count all of the Levites from one month old and older, from all of their families. The Lord said that only the males should be counted. →

Listen up privates! Numbers 4 is all about the division of labor amongst the Levites. God orders Moses to take a census of all the men between 30 and 50 years of age to determine who is fit for service. →

Listen up! In Numbers 5, the Lord is giving Moses instructions on how to deal with people who have done wrong. He says that if anyone commits a sin and is guilty, they must confess and make a special offering to the Lord. →

LISTEN UP, YA MAGGOTS! Now, I'm gonna tell you about Numbers 6. In this chapter, God tells Moses to command the Israelites to make an oath, called the Nazirite vow. This is an oath of consecration, which involves abstaining from wine, strong drink, and all grape products. →

Listen up, maggots! You better get to know Numbers 7, 'cuz it's important. This chapter is all about the leaders of each of the twelve tribes of Israel bringin' offerings to dedicate the Tabernacle. Each tribe brought the same kind of offering: a cart with six oxen and an offering plate with cake, grain, and oil. →

"Listen up, maggots! Chapter 8 of the Good Book is all about the Levites. As you already know, the Levites were special people chosen by God to serve as priests. In this chapter, God tells Moses to take the Levites and consecrate them to serve in the tabernacle. →

Listen up, recruits! In Numbers 9, God commands Moses to tell the Israelites to celebrate the Passover, which is a special festival. Moses then tells the people to celebrate it at the appointed time and they obey. →

FALL IN! Attention all you greenhorns! This here is the book of Numbers, chapter 10. This is a real important chapter, so listen up! Now you're gonna hear about the Israelites blowin' their trumpets. All the tribes had silver trumpets, and when they blew 'em, it was a signal to move or to get ready for battle! Then, God told Moses to march the whole bunch of 'em outta the camp and into the wilderness. →

Listen up, maggots! In Numbers 11, the Israelites complain about their food and God sends down a fire to punish them. Then God sends down a plague of quail and the people eat until they are stuffed. But God gets mad and sends a wind to kill them because they were gluttonous and didn't trust Him. →

Listen up, recruits! Chapter 12 of Numbers is all about the drama between Moses, Aaron, and Miriam. Miriam and Aaron are talking about Moses and criticizing him behind his back, and God isn't having it. →

Listen up, you maggots! This is Numbers 13! In this chapter, God tells Moses to take a crew of twelve dudes to check out the Promised Land. They go, and when they come back, they give Moses a report. They say that the land is good, but there's some giants living there that could be a problem. →

"LISTEN UP, RECRUITS! THIS IS NUMBERS CHAPTER 14! THE ISRAELITES ARE AT THE EDGE OF THE PROMISED LAND, READY TO TAKE IT BY FORCE. BUT THE 10 SPIES SCOUTING THE LAND SAY IT'S TOO DIFFICULT, SO THE WHOLE PEOPLE GO INTO MOURNING. →

Listen up! This is Numbers 15. The Lord said to Moses, "Speak to the Israelites and tell them that when they come into the land they are to give offerings to the Lord by fire. You shall offer a cake of fine flour mixed with oil as a burnt offering, and unleavened cakes mixed with oil as a grain offering. →

"Listen up, maggots! Numbers 16 is about a group of rebels led by Korah and Dathan who rebel against Moses and Aaron. They think they should have the same authority as Moses and Aaron, so they challenge them in front of the whole camp. →

Listen up, recruits! Numbers 17 is all about Moses and Aaron. God told Moses to take 12 staffs, one for each of the 12 tribes of Israel, and write the name of each tribe on each staff. Then, Aaron was to put the staffs in the tent of meeting in front of the Ark of the Covenant and God would select the one he wanted. →

HEY LISTEN UP YOU MAGGOTS! This chapter is all about the priests. Aaron, the High Priest, and his sons have been chosen by God to have special privileges and to serve Him. They are responsible for all the sacrifices and offerings that are made to God. →

Listen up, maggots! This is Numbers 19 and it's all about a red heifer. This heifer is unblemished, has no defects, and has never been yoked or worked. The LORD commands the Israelites to sacrifice this heifer and burn it, and then take the ashes of the heifer and mix them with spring water. →

Listen up, recruits! Chapter 20 of Numbers is all about Moses and Aaron and their journey with the Israelites. They travel to the Desert of Zin and Moses goes to the Lord to ask for water. God tells him to take his staff and speak to a rock and water will come out of it. →

Listen up, soldiers! Chapter 21 of Numbers starts off with a complaint about the journey. So God sends a bunch of venomous snakes to bite the people. The people repent and ask Moses to help them. So Moses makes a bronze snake and puts it on a pole and anyone who looks at it will be healed. →

Listen up, you maggots! This is Numbers 22 and it's important! Now, here's the story: Balak, king of Moab, was terrified of the Israelites moving into his land, so he sends for Balaam, a soothsayer, to put a curse on them. →

"LISTEN UP, SOLDIERS! Chapter 23 of Numbers is about the prophet Balaam. Balaam is hired by a foreign king to curse the Israelites, but God won't let him do it. Instead, Balaam blesses them. Balaam also gives a prophecy that Israel will be victorious in any conflict. →

"Listen up, recruits! Chapter 24 of Numbers tells us about a prophet named Balaam. Balaam is hired by a king to curse Israel, but instead of curses, God gives Balaam three prophecies of Israel's future greatness. →

Listen up, maggots! This is Numbers 25! In this chapter, the Israelites commit a serious sin and the Lord orders Moses to punish them. Then, one of the Israelite leaders named Phinehas kills a man and a woman who were committing adultery, and the Lord rewards him for his righteous deed. →

Listen up, maggots! This chapter is about the Israelites takin' a census of the people in their army, so they know what kind of forces they got. God told Moses to take a count of all the men in Israel over the age of twenty who were able to fight. →

Attention! Listen up, recruits! This is a crash course in Numbers 27! In this chapter, we learn about the daughters of Zelophehad who approach Moses and Eleazar. They want the right to inherit their father's estate, since he died without any sons. →

Listen up, new recruits! This is Numbers 28! It tells ya about the sacrifices and offerings to be made by the Israelites. Ya got your burnt offerings each day, ya got your Sabbath day offerings, and ya got your monthly offerings. →

1-6. Listen up, you maggots! The Lord is speaking, and you better pay attention! In Numbers 29:1-6, He tells us that in the seventh month – on the first day – there's to be a holy convocation. Y'all better rest up and get yourselves ready, because you gotta blow the trumpets and offer up burnt offerings. →

"Listen up, recruits! Chapter 30 of Numbers is all about vows. If a woman makes a vow, her father or husband can cancel it, but if they don't, then it's binding. Also, if a man makes a vow, only he can cancel it, and it's still binding. →

Listen up, new recruits! This is Numbers 31: Now we're talkin' about a military operation! So here's the gist of it: The Lord tells Moses to take vengeance on the Midianites for what they did to the Israelites. →

"Listen up, you maggots! This is Numbers 32! The people of Reuben and Gad want to stay on the east side of the Jordan River. God tells 'em they can stay but they gotta help the rest of Israel move in. So they agree to send their troops to fight alongside Israel, but they'll keep their families and livestock back in Transjordan. →

First off, listen up! This chapter is about the Israelites during their 40-year trek through the wilderness. You need to know that they made a lot of stops along the way, so pay attention! The chapter starts with a list of all the places they stopped and camped, from the time they left Egypt until they arrived in the plains of Moab. →

Listen up, recruits! In Numbers 34, God tells Moses to give the land of Canaan to the people of Israel. He instructs Moses to divide the land among the 12 tribes of Israel. He tells Moses to take one leader from each tribe and draw a map of the land. →

Listen up, new recruits! This is NUMBERS 35! Here's the scoop: God tells Moses and the Israelites to set aside certain cities in the land of Canaan for the Levites to live in. God also instructs the Israelites to set up cities of refuge, where those accused of murder can flee to escape the vengeance of the victim's family. →

Listen up, recruits! This chapter of Numbers is all about the daughters of Zelophehad. This guy had no sons, so he had five daughters and they wanted to keep his name going. So God tells Moses to tell the Israelites that the daughters of Zelophehad must marry within their own tribe to keep their father's property within the tribe. →