"LISTEN UP RECRUITS! THIS HERE IS LUKE 1! GOD'S MESSENGER, AN ANGEL, TOLD ZECHARIAH THAT HIS PRAYERS HAD BEEN ANSWERED AND HIS WIFE ELIZABETH WOULD HAVE A SON. THEY WOULD NAME HIM JOHN. AN ANGEL ALSO TOLD MARY SHE WOULD HAVE A SON, JESUS. →

"LISTEN UP RECRUITS! THIS IS LUKE 2 YOU'RE READING. GOD SENT AN ANGEL TO TELL THE SHEPHERDS THAT THE SON OF GOD HAD BEEN BORN. THE SHEPHERDS WENT TO THE MANGER AND SAW THE BABY JESUS. THEY SPREAD THE WORD OF HIS BIRTH TO EVERYONE THEY MET. →

ATTENTION! Listen up, maggots! This is Luke 3! John the Baptist shows up and preaches a message of repentance and forgiveness. He's setting the stage for the coming of Jesus. He also baptizes people in the Jordan River to show their commitment to God. →

Atten-TION! This is Luke 4! Jesus is sent by the Holy Spirit to be tempted by the devil. Jesus resists every temptation, and eventually the devil leaves Him. Jesus returns to Galilee and starts preaching and healing people. →

Luke 5 is about Jesus performing miracles and calling people to follow Him. He heals a paralyzed man, forgives his sins and tells him to go and sin no more. He calls four fishermen to become his disciples, and they leave their boats and nets to follow Jesus. →

Listen up, you maggots! This is Luke 6. I need you to pay attention! This chapter focuses mostly on Jesus and his twelve disciples. Jesus was out on a mountain, and he chose twelve of his followers to be his apostles. →

Listen up, recruits! In Luke 7, Jesus raises a dead man back to life! A centurion sent some of his men to ask Jesus to heal his servant, so Jesus went with them. When he got to the centurion's house, the centurion said he wasn't worthy to have Jesus in his home, so Jesus healed the servant from outside the house. →

Listen up, you maggots! Luke 8 is all about Jesus being followed around by crowds and performing miracles. He also has some parables about a sower, a lamp, and a seed. Jesus' mother and brothers come to see him and he says his disciples are his family. →

Listen up, recruits! In Luke 9, Jesus is sending out his disciples to spread the word and heal the sick. He's also getting ready to head to Jerusalem, so he's warning the disciples that they better be patient and stay focused on their mission. →

Listen up, maggots! This is Luke 10. In this chapter, Jesus sends out seventy-two of his followers to preach the good news. He tells them to go to the towns and villages he's planning to visit and heal the sick, cast out demons, and spread the word of God. →

Listen up, newbies! Luke 11 is all about prayer. Jesus is teaching us about how to pray and what to pray for. He tells us to start by praising God and thanking him for all the good things he's done for us. →

Listen up! Luke 12 is all about wisdom and preparedness. Jesus warns us to watch out for the hypocrite's trap, and to be ready to answer God's call. He tells us to be brave and not to fear, and that God will take care of us. →

This chapter is all about Jesus and his teachings. He's teaching the people about repentance, forgiveness, and salvation. He tells them about the Kingdom of God and how it's available to everyone who believes in Him. →

Y'all listen up! This is Luke Chapter 14! Jesus is at a dinner party and he tells the guests that if they want to follow him, they'd better hate their families. Then Jesus tells them a parable about how a host invites people to a dinner, but none of them show up. →

Listen up, troops! This is Luke 15! It's all about a guy named Jesus who's teaching us some important lessons. He starts off by telling us about a lost sheep and how much God cares about even the smallest of things. →

Listen up, maggots! This is Luke 16. Now, there was this rich guy who had a steward who was kind of a thief. The rich guy found out and fired the steward. The steward was worried about his future, so he used his wits to get people to owe him so he'd have somebody to take care of him when he was fired. →

"LISTEN UP RECRUITS! Luke 17 is about the power of faith. Jesus tells his disciples that faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains. He talks about how they must forgive others, and how they should be thankful for the faith they have. →

Listen up, recruits! This is Luke 18. Startin' off with a parable--a story with a moral lesson. This one's about a judge who don't fear God, but this widow keeps pesterin' him until he finally decides to give her justice. →

Listen up, troops! This is Luke 19 and it’s a doozy. Jesus is headed to Jerusalem, but on the way He stops in Jericho. He meets Zacchaeus, a short dude who climbs a tree to get a better view of Jesus. Jesus invites himself to Zacchaeus’s house for dinner and Zacchaeus is so overjoyed he decides to give half his possessions to the poor and pay back anyone he’s wronged four times what he took. →

You maggots listen up! Chapter 20 of Luke tells you about a bunch of religious leaders trying to trick Jesus. They asked if it was okay to pay taxes to Caesar, and Jesus answered with a brilliant response - “Give to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's. →

Listen up, new recruits! This is Luke 21. Jesus is warning his followers about the destruction of the temple. He says that there will be wars and rumors of wars, famines and earthquakes. People will be persecuted and killed for their beliefs. →

"Listen up, soldiers! This is Luke 22! Jesus is now in the Garden of Gethsemane, praying. He is betrayed by Judas and arrested by the chief priests and scribes. Peter tries to defend him, but Jesus tells him to put away his sword. →

"Listen up, privates! Chapter 23 of Luke is about the death of Jesus. Pilate finds no fault in Jesus and tries to release Him, but the Jewish people demand the release of Barabbas instead. Pilate reluctantly sentences Jesus to be crucified. →

"You heathens, listen up! This is Luke 24. Jesus has been resurrected, and you better believe it! Two of his disciples were walking from Jerusalem to the village of Emmaus and Jesus joined them but they didn't recognize him. →