In Jeremiah 1, God calls his prophet Jeremiah to speak his word. God tells him that before he was even born, he chose him to be a prophet to the nations. He tells Jeremiah not to be afraid or discouraged because God will be with him and will protect him. →

Listen up, troops! Jeremiah 2 is all about God being pissed off. He's angry at his children for going after other gods and not sticking to him. He accuses them of going after worthless idols and claims that they have forgotten him. →

Listen up, you maggots! This is Jeremiah 3! In this chapter, God's telling the people of Judah that they have been acting like a bunch of whiny children, running away from Him and worshiping other gods. →

Alright listen up! Jeremiah 4 tells us about God's judgment on Israel for its wickedness. God warns the people to repent and turn away from their evil ways. He says that if they don't, He will bring destruction and disaster upon them. →

ATTENTION! Listen up and listen good! Y'all need to know what's in Jeremiah 5! God's people are full of sin. They've been given so many chances, but still keep disobeyin'. They don't care about what God has to say, and they're livin' lives of wickedness and debauchery. →

Listen up! Jeremiah 6 is all about the Lord's warning to Judah about the danger that is coming to them. He warns them to flee from the city of Jerusalem and not to trust their false prophets. They should prepare for battle and put on armor. →

"Listen up, you maggots! Jeremiah 7 is all about God telling the Israelites to stop sinning and to shape up! God says that if they stop sinning and start following His laws, He'll forgive them and make them a great nation. →

Listen up, maggots! This is Jeremiah 8 and I'm gonna give you the skinny on it. The Lord says that there ain't no more hope for the people of Judah, 'cause they've done messed up and broken His laws. He says that the people are like broken jars that can't be fixed. →

Listen up! Jeremiah 9 is all about God's anger at His people for their sins. He's mad that they don't seek Him, and He's gonna bring judgment on them. He's gonna send them into exile and they'll suffer for their sins. →

Hey listen up! Jeremiah 10 is all about how God is the only true God and all other gods are false. He says that these other gods are just idols made of wood and metal and they can't even speak. He tells the people that they are foolish to worship these idols instead of Him. →

ATTENTION! LISTEN UP, MAGGOTS! This here's the book of Jeremiah, chapter 11. It's all about the covenant God made with Israel. God promised to bless them if they followed His commandments, but they didn't listen. →

"Listen up, maggots! Here's the skinny on Jeremiah 12: God is angry at the people of Judah because they have been unfaithful to Him. He's gonna punish them by sending the Babylonians to take over the land. →

Atten-TION! Listen up, recruits! Chapter 13 of Jeremiah is all 'bout God's punishment of Israel. He tells them through the prophet Jeremiah that they ain't listenin' to Him and they're wearin' clothes that ain't theirs. →

"Listen up, recruits! Jeremiah 14 is all about the destruction of the land of Judah. The LORD has sent a drought, and the land is parched, the crops are dying, and the people are starving. The prophets are prophesying lies and the priests are giving false hope. →

"LISTEN UP, SOLDIERS! This is Jeremiah 15! God's gonna get mad at Judah and Jerusalem, so He's gonna send out some sword-wielding nations to come and punish 'em. But don't worry, 'cause God's gonna make sure those nations will leave Judah and Jerusalem alone. →

Ya hear me, maggots? This is Jeremiah 16. God's gonna be dealing out the punishment, like he always does. He's gonna send foreigners to take away your homeland and your stuff, maggots. You'll be scattered to the four winds, maggots. →

HEY YOU MAGGOTS! LISTEN UP! CHAPTER 17 OF JEREMIAH IS ALL ABOUT TRUSTING IN THE LORD! YEAH YOU HEARD ME! THE LORD IS YOUR HELP! DON'T TRUST IN ANYONE OR ANYTHING ELSE! THE LORD IS THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN HELP YOU! IF YOU TRUST IN HIM, HE WILL GIVE YOU WISDOM, KNOWLEDGE, AND UNDERSTANDING. →

Listen up, maggots! We're talking about Jeremiah 18. This chapter is all about God's potter, who is making a pot from clay. God tells Jeremiah to go and watch the potter at work. God then tells Jeremiah that He's like the potter and He can change His plans for the people of Israel just like the potter can change his plans for the pot. →

Jeremiah 19: Yahweh commands Jeremiah to buy a clay jar, then take a group of elders and priests to the Potter's Field, and break the jar as a symbol of the destruction of Jerusalem. Yahweh then tells them to announce His judgment and tell the people that their false gods will not save them, and that they will suffer for their sins. →

"LISTEN UP, MAGGOTS! Jeremiah 20 - you better pay attention. This chapter is about how the prophet Jeremiah was persecuted and mocked by others for his words of prophecy. He was so discouraged that he wished he had never been born. →

LISTEN UP, MAGGOTS! This is Jeremiah 21. It all starts off with King Zedekiah, who is ruling over Judah in Jerusalem. God comes to him in a dream and tells him, “I'm gonna make all of your plans go to waste, so don't even bother making any. →

Aye, listen up! Jeremiah 22 is all about kings and rulers. God says that when kings and rulers do their job and treat their people right, they will be blessed. But if they don't, they will be cursed. God says that the kings and rulers of Judah have done nothing but oppress the poor and needy. →

"Listen up, troops! Jeremiah 23 is all about false prophets! They are trying to deceive you, so don't fall for their lies! The Lord will judge them for their wickedness and will remove them from their positions of power. →

"Listen up, recruits! Jeremiah 24 is all about good and bad fruit. God is comparing the good fruit of the exiles who were taken to Babylon with the bad fruit of those who stayed in Judah. The good fruit symbolizes those who are obedient to God's commands, while the bad fruit symbolizes those who rebel against Him. →

Listen up, maggots! Jeremiah 25 is all about God's judgment on the nations. He's gonna make sure they get what's coming to them. He's gonna send a bunch of disasters their way, like famine, plague, wild animals, and sword. →

Listen up, troops! In Jeremiah 26, the Lord sends Jeremiah to the temple, to tell the people of Judah that if they don't repent and change their ways, they'll be destroyed. He tells them to turn from their wickedness and to obey the law of the Lord. →

Listen up, recruits! This here is Jeremiah 27. This is a message from the Lord to all the nations, telling them that the King of Babylon is His servant and He's put him in charge. He tells them that they need to submit to the Babylonian King and serve him, or else they'll be punished. →

"Listen up! Chapter 28 of Jeremiah is about a prophet called Hananiah who's making false prophecies and trying to mislead the people. He's promising that the Babylonians will be defeated and the people of Israel will be free. →

Listen up, troops! Chapter 29 of Jeremiah is all about God's plan for the Israelites. He's got a plan for the future, and it's gonna be big! He's gonna take the Israelites out of exile and bring them back home. →

LISTEN UP! Jeremiah 30 - Ah, the Book of Jeremiah. This one's a doozy. In this chapter, God is speaking to the people of Israel, telling them that though they've been scattered to other countries, they will eventually be brought back to their homeland. →

LISTEN UP YOU MAGGOTS! THIS IS JEREMIAH 31. Y'ALL BETTER PAY ATTENTION 'CAUSE I WON'T BE REPEATING MYSELF. GOD IS PROMISING JERUSALEM A NEW COVENANT, A BETTER ONE THAN EVER BEFORE. HE SAYS THAT THIS TIME, HIS PEOPLE WILL BE CLOSER TO HIM THAN EVER BEFORE. →

All right, listen up! Here's what you need to know about Jeremiah 32. Jeremiah's cousin Hanamel comes to him, asking him to buy a field in Anathoth. Jeremiah buys the field and follows all the laws concerning such a purchase. →

"Listen up, newbies! Jeremiah 33 is all about God's promise of restoration. He's gonna bring back the Israelites and establish a new covenant with them. He's gonna make their land prosperous again and bring peace to their lives. →

"Alright recruits! Listen up! Chapter 34 of Jeremiah is all about God telling King Zedekiah of Judah that he's gonna get overthrown and taken captive by the King of Babylon. But before that happens, God tells Zedekiah to set all his slaves free, and to stop making them work as slaves. →

Listen up recruits! This is Jeremiah 35! Get your minds right and pay attention. These are God's instructions for the Rechabites. He tells Jeremiah to bring them to the house of the Lord and give them wine to drink. →

Listen up, maggots! Jeremiah 36 is all about a scroll. King Jehoiakim was told by God to write down everything the prophet Jeremiah said. So he did, and read it to the people. But the King didn't like it, so he cut it up with a penknife and threw it into a fire. →

Jeremiah 37: Jeremiah is thrown into a dungeon by King Zedekiah for prophesying about Judah's downfall. Jeremiah is released but then is sent back to the court of the king when the Babylonians are about to besiege Jerusalem. →

Listen up, you worthless maggots! In Jeremiah 38, King Zedekiah of Judah is captured by the Babylonians and taken to exile, and the people of Judah suffer under the Babylonian rule. Meanwhile, Jeremiah is thrown into a muddy cistern by officials of King Zedekiah. →

"LISTEN UP! Jeremiah 39's all about Judah's downfall. Babylon invades and takes Jerusalem. The folks in charge surrender, and Babylonians take their leaders, soldiers, and craftsmen away. King Zedekiah tries to escape but fails, and Babylon cuts out his eyes and throws him in jail. →

Listen up, maggots! This is Jeremiah 40. Word has it that Babylon is done with Jerusalem and has pulled back. So, Nebuzaradan, the captain of the guard, has released Jeremiah. He's going to go to Gedaliah at Mizpah. →

Listen up, maggots! This is Jeremiah 41! Now, in this chapter there's this big battle between Ishmael, who's from the royal family, and a bunch of captains from Gedaliah. These captains were on the same side as Ishmael, but Ishmael kills them all in cold blood and then he takes the rest of Gedaliah's people captive. →

"ATTENTION! This is Jeremiah 42. LISTEN UP! You need to know this! God is gonna send you to a foreign land, and you're gonna do what He says. You don't have a choice. No arguing. You have to pray for the people who are already there, and for yourselves. →

Listen up, new recruits! Chapter 43 of Jeremiah is all about the Lord punishing the people of Judah for their disobedience. The Lord sent Jeremiah and his assistant, Baruch, to tell the people that they had to accept their punishment. →

LISTEN UP! This is Jeremiah 44! We got Judahites who were sent to Egypt and they still worshiping other gods and sacrificing their children to 'em. God ain't having that so He sends Jeremiah to tell 'em to cut it out! Nope, they ain't listening so God's gonna punish 'em for it. →

LISTEN UP, SOLDIERS! THIS IS JEREMIAH 45! Baruch, Jeremiah's secretary, is feeling discouraged and overwhelmed. He complains to the Lord, but God answers him with a message of hope. He tells Baruch that even though his people are suffering, he will eventually be rewarded with a great new life. →

"Listen up, recruits! Jeremiah 46 is all about God's judgement. He's punishing Egypt, who was trying to fight against Babylon. So God's gonna show 'em who's boss. The whole chapter is filled with warnings about how bad it's gonna be. →

ATTENTION! Listen up, maggots! This is Jeremiah 47. Pharaoh's army is coming to attack Gaza and all of the Philistine cities. The Lord is warning the Philistines to flee or face destruction. He's gonna send a great flood of water to drown them out. →

"LISTEN UP, RECRUITS! THIS IS JEREMIAH CHAPTER 48! Moab is gonna get it! All their cities are gonna be destroyed! They're gonna be scattered and become a joke! They'll be an object of horror and ridicule! Don't mess with Moab 'cause they're gonna suffer! And don't listen to their false prophets 'cause they ain't gonna help! This is God's word and it's gonna happen, no matter what!" →

Listen up, maggots! Jeremiah 49 is all about God punishing the people of Ammon, Edom, Damascus, and Kedar. God says they're gonna get what they deserve for not being faithful to Him, and that their enemies are gonna come in and take their land away from 'em. →

Ya'll listen up! This is Jeremiah 50! It's all about God punishing Babylon for the way they treated His people. He's gonna send a powerful army to take them down and He promises to do it. He's gonna take away their power and their freedom and make them slaves. →

LISTEN UP! This is Jeremiah 51, so PAY ATTENTION! This chapter is about Babylon, who is about to get what's coming to her! God is gonna bring His judgment against Babylon for all the evil she's done. God will send a destroying army to take down Babylon. →

Attention! This is Jeremiah 52! You better pay attention or you'll be sorry! In this chapter, King Zedekiah of Judah and his people are in trouble. The Babylonians come in and lay siege to Jerusalem. After 18 months, the city falls and the Babylonians take King Zedekiah, his family, and all the important people of Jerusalem away with them. →