Listen up, you maggots! This is Numbers 22 and it's important! Now, here's the story: Balak, king of Moab, was terrified of the Israelites moving into his land, so he sends for Balaam, a soothsayer, to put a curse on them. Balaam is on his way, but God sends an angel to block his path. Balaam can't see the angel, but his donkey can, so it keeps stopping and turning aside. Balaam gets mad and starts beating the donkey, and then the Lord opens the donkey's mouth and it talks to him. Finally, Balaam realizes there's something supernatural happening, so he kneels and asks forgiveness. The Lord then lets Balaam continue on his way, but tells him he can't curse the Israelites. When Balak finds out, he's not happy, but Balaam tells him to build seven altars and offer sacrifices on each one. Balak does this, and God sends a message to Balaam that he's allowed to bless the Israelites but not curse them. So, Balaam blesses the Israelites instead. That's it, maggots! Now you know Numbers 22!