Peter: Alright, so this is Genesis Chapter 49. In this one, Jacob blesses his sons before he dies.

Brian: You know, I think I saw that in a movie once. It was that one with Brad Pitt, where he's a big-shot lawyer...

Quagmire: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that was a great movie!

Peter: Anyways, Jacob says his sons should be strong like a donkey, but also wise like a snake.

Brian: Wow, that's like that saying, "Smart like a fox!"

Quagmire: Or that one about the dog!

Peter: Right, right. Anyways, he also says that Judah will be the leader of his brothers, and that his descendants will be kings.

Brian: Wow, that's like, a lot of power for one family.

Quagmire: Yeah, like the Kardashians!

Peter: Yeah, exactly. So then Jacob dies, and his sons all mourn his death.

Brian: That's so sad.

Quagmire: Yeah, like when George Lucas sold the rights to Star Wars!