Stewie: "Alright, everyone gather 'round! I've got the summary of Ezekiel 9. So apparently God sent an angel to mark some people's foreheads with a mark of protection. Can you believe that? It's like, 'Hey, you're safe, but everyone else is screwed!' Bazinga!"

Lois: "Stewie, that's not really the point of the chapter. God was just trying to protect some of his people from the judgement he was about to bring upon the city of Jerusalem."

Peter: "Wait, so God was like, 'Hey, you're special. The rest of you can eat my dust'?"

Lois: "Well, yes. He did tell the angel to kill anyone who didn't have the mark."

Brian: "That's harsh. I mean, what kind of God would do something like that?"

Stewie: "The kind of God that plays 'Candy Crush' on his iPhone during church. Am I right?"

Lois: "Stewie, please! That's enough. Now, the angel then went about executing God's judgement on those who didn't have the mark. He then commanded the people to repent and turn from their wicked ways."

Peter: "Wicked ways? Like watching 'Jersey Shore'? Or 'Keeping Up With the Kardashians'?"

Brian: "I think he meant idolatry and following false gods, Peter."

Stewie: "Well, that's enough Bible-ing for me. I'm off to play some video games. Later y'all!"