1. [To the chief Musician, A Psalm of David, when Nathan the prophet came unto him, after he had gone in to Bathsheba.] Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions. →

"Hey, welcome back to Weekend Update, I'm Norm MacDonald. This week, I'm gonna do things a little differently and take you through Psalms 51 from the Bible. Alright, so here we go. It starts off with David admitting that he has sinned against God, and asking for forgiveness and mercy. →

Joe: Alright, so we got a Bible Expert here, and he's going to give us a summary of Psalms 51. Let's hear it. Bible Expert: Sure. Psalms 51 is a prayer for mercy and forgiveness from King David. David is confessing his sins and asking for God's mercy and forgiveness. →

Alex Trebek: Alright, so tell me a bit about yourself. Contestant: Well, I was just reading Psalms 51 today and I'd like to tell you a bit about it. Alex Trebek (sighing): Oh...okay. What is it about? →

"Listen up, you maggots! You better pay attention and learn this chapter real good! Psalms 51 is all about David and his sin with Bathsheba and how he repents. David prays to God and asks for mercy, forgiveness, and cleansing of his sins. →

Batman: Holy scripture, Robin. Psalms 51. Robin: You're right, Batman. It's a powerful prayer to God, begging for mercy and forgiveness. Joker: Mercy and forgiveness? What a snooze-fest. Batman: Joker, that's no way to talk about the Bible! This Psalm is a plea to God for mercy and the strength to do what is right. →

1-19. Folks, listen up. Here's the deal with Psalms 51, and don't let anyone give you no malarkey about it. My father used to say, "Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy loving kindness." That's the literal truth. →

This is an unbelievable chapter in the Bible. Psalms 51 is all about David and his incredible repentance to God after he committed a huge sin. David was so sad about what he had done that he had tremendous sorrow and guilt. →

Peter: Alright, so Psalms 51. Lois, what do ya got? Lois: Well, it's all about David repenting to God for his sins and asking God to cleanse him. Peter: Oh, yeah? Sounds like some pretty heavy stuff. Hey, Stewie, you got any ideas? →