Peter: Alright, so what's this one?

Lois: This is Matthew 3.

Stewie: Oh, let me guess, it's about a guy named Matt and he's trying to find the three wise men?

Lois: Actually, it's about John the Baptist who's calling people to repentance by preaching a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins.

Brian: Wow, sounds pretty heavy.

Peter: Yeah, it's like 'The Hangover' but instead of getting drunk, they're confessing their sins.

Stewie: I'll take a vodka cranberry over a baptism any day.

Lois: Anyway, John says that the one coming after him is greater than he is and he will baptize with the Holy Spirit and fire.

Brian: Wow, that's intense.

Peter: Yeah, it's like 'Neverending Story' but instead of the kid saving the world, the world is saved through baptism.

Lois: Right. Then Jesus arrives and John baptizes Him in the Jordan River.

Stewie: Sounds like a party to me.

Peter: Yeah, it's like 'Jurassic Park', but instead of dinosaurs, Jesus is there.

Lois: And then a voice from Heaven says "This is my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased".

Brian: That's pretty powerful.

Peter: Yeah, it's like 'Star Wars' but instead of Darth Vader, it's God's voice.