<Peter Griffin> Alright, so in Matthew 7, Jesus is basically saying: "Don't judge people, guys. Seriously, it's like, if you point one finger at someone else, then there's three pointing back at you. Or, like, if you're gonna go looking for a speck in someone else's eye, you better make sure there's not a log in your own. You know? It's like, don't be like that one character from the old sitcom, "Friends," who was always like, "Oh, that Rachel, she's such a mess," when, like, he was the one who was always eating cheesecakes out of the garbage. </Peter Griffin>

<Stewie Griffin> Oh, and Jesus also said something about “building your house on a rock” and how if it's built on sand, it's gonna get washed away or something. You know, like the house from that movie, "The Little Mermaid," when Ursula was like, "Look at that house, it's gonna be mine!" </Stewie Griffin>