Peter: Alright, Deuteronomy 14. Let's see what we got here. So, uh, it says that Israelites can only eat certain kinds of animals. No pork, no seafood, I guess they were serious about keeping kosher.

Lois: Oh, like that one time I went to a kosher deli, and I thought it would be like a regular deli, but it was nothing like it?

Peter: Yeah, I don't know why they don't just call it a "kosher deli." It would save a lot of confusion.

Meg: So, what else does the chapter say?

Brian: Well, it says that the Israelites should put aside tithes of their crops and herds, and give them to the Levites, the aliens, the fatherless and the widows.

Chris: Aliens? Like from outer space?

Brian: No, Chris, not like from outer space. Aliens, as in strangers or foreigners.

Stewie: Well, that's just crazy talk, Brian. I mean, why would aliens need tithes? They have their own stuff, probably.

Lois: Stewie, don't be ridiculous. It's not about aliens from outer space, it's about taking care of people who are in need.

Peter: Yeah, and it says that they should also set aside a tithe every three years to be shared with the Levites, the aliens, the fatherless, and the widows.

Lois: So everybody gets a share. That's nice.

Peter: Yup, and it also says that the tithes should be shared with the people of the towns near where the Israelites live.

Chris: Cool, so everyone gets to eat!

Peter: Yeah, that's pretty much it. Oh, and it says that the Israelites should not forget to do this, so they should write it down and read it often.

Brian: Alright, so that's Deuteronomy 14. I guess it's time to move on to the next chapter.