Peter: Alright folks, time for Deuteronomy 12. Basically, it's telling us that when the Israelites are in their new home, they have to worship in the exact spot that God tells them to. No substitutions allowed.

Lois: And no other gods either, right Peter?

Peter: That's right Lois. No idols, no graven images. Unless it's a picture of me, of course.

Joe: Hey, you can't pick and choose which commandments to obey.

Peter: No, Joe, but you can pick and choose which celebrities to follow on Twitter.

Brian: That's true. Anyway, the chapter goes on to say that the Israelites should only sacrifice to God in the place He has chosen. They should not offer sacrifices in just any old spot.

Lois: So, God is like a picky restaurant owner, only allowing certain dishes to be served in certain places?

Peter: Kind of, except instead of food, it's sacrifices. But yeah, same principle.

Joe: And God also doesn't want the Israelites to eat their sacrifices. They should just burn them.

Brian: Unless it's a birthday celebration or something. Then they can eat the sacrifice.

Peter: That's right. So, in conclusion, Deuteronomy 12 is all about making sure the Israelites are worshiping God in the proper place, and not offering sacrifices anywhere else.

Lois: So, in other words, don't do what Homer Simpson did when he tried to sacrifice an animal in his living room.

Peter: Exactly.