Peter Griffin: Alright, so this Deuteronomy 7 chapter of the Bible starts off with God telling the Israelites that they should not intermarry with the people of the land they're about to conquer. But not like, because it's wrong to date outside your race. More like, don't be friends with those people and their gods.

Lois Griffin: Ooh, sounds like God's a little racist!

Stewie Griffin: Racist? What do you know of racism, Lois?

Brian Griffin: Guys, let's stay focused here. So, God tells the Israelites that He's chosen them to be His special people, and He's gonna bless them in return for their obedience. He tells them to destroy all the idols of the people they're about to conquer, and don't make any idols of their own.

Peter Griffin: Yeah, like the Golden Arches, or the golden calf, or the golden shower!

Lois Griffin: Peter!

Stewie Griffin: And then God tells them to not fear or be discouraged by the nations they are about to conquer. He promises to fight for them and to give them the land.

Brian Griffin: Right, and then He tells them that if they obey Him, He'll take away all the diseases and sickness that have been plaguing them.

Peter Griffin: Yeah, just like the plague of the Kardashians!

Lois Griffin: Peter!