Peter: Alright, so, in Chapter 23 of Numbers, God sent Balam to curse the Israelites, but it didn't work and Balam ended up blessing them instead. So he was like, "How can I curse those whom God has not cursed? How can I denounce those whom the LORD has not denounced?"

Lois: Wow, that's really deep.

Stewie: Well, that's about as deep as the Kool-Aid Man's "Oh, Yeah!"

Brian: Yeah, but the Kool-Aid Man was the one who always gave us the good stuff.

Peter: Right. Anyway, so Balam tried to curse the Israelites, but he just kept blessing them instead. He was like, "I see them, but not now; I behold them, but not near. A star shall come out of Jacob, and a scepter shall rise out of Israel; it shall crush the forehead of Moab and break down all the sons of Sheth."

Lois: That's really poetic.

Stewie: Yeah, like a rap battle between Eminem and Dr. Seuss.

Brian: I don't think that would work.

Peter: Yeah, probably not. But anyway, Balam was like, "Am I not also a prophet here in the midst of them?" And then he just kept blessing the Israelites. The moral of the story is, don't mess with God's people, or you might end up blessing them instead.

Lois: That's a good message.

Stewie: Yeah, like a commercial for a vegan restaurant starring the cast of Friends.