Peter: Alright, so in Numbers 25, the Israelites were chillin' in Moab and got all buddy-buddy with the Moabites and started worshipping their gods.

Lois: Wait, what?

Peter: Yeah, it was totally whack, so God was like, "Uh-uh, no way, Jose!" and then he sent a plague to punish them.

Brian: But then, out of nowhere, this dude Phinehas stepped up, grabbed a spear and skewered a dude who was all up in a chick from Moab.

Chris: So, like, was it a love triangle gone wrong?

Peter: I guess so, but then God was all like, "Phinehas, you da real MVP!"

Lois: Oh my goodness! That's so dramatic.

Peter: Yeah, and then God was all like, "You know, I'm gonna give Phinehas and his family a special covenant of everlasting priesthood and make sure his descendants always have a place in my house."

Brian: So what did the Moabite chick get out of it?

Chris: Probably just a restraining order.