Peter: Alright, so 2 Samuel 1. Uhh, let's see here. So, it starts off with a guy named David who is sad and in mourning, because he just heard that Saul and Jonathan had died in battle.

Lois: Oh no! That's so sad.

Brian: Yeah, it's like when Luke Skywalker found out Darth Vader was his father.

Peter: Right. But David's not happy about it. He's actually bawling and tearing his clothes.

Stewie: Oh, he's a real drama queen.

Meg: Yeah, it's like when Kim Kardashian cries over her latest breakup.

Peter: Anyways, he's so upset, he composes this poem about Saul and Jonathan.

Chris: Wow, that's really poetic. Like when Taylor Swift writes a song about her ex.

Lois: So, what happens next?

Peter: Well, then David talks to the people who were with Saul and Jonathan when they died. He wants to know what happened, and he finds out that Saul and Jonathan were killed in battle.

Brian: Damn, that's rough. Like when the Red Sox lost the World Series.

Stewie: Yeah, it sounds like a real tragedy. Like when the Titanic sunk.

Peter: Right. So, David orders them to spread the news of Saul and Jonathan's deaths, and then he orders that they be buried in honor.

Meg: Wow, that's really kind of him. Like when Prince William helped with the funeral arrangements for Princess Diana.

Chris: Yeah, it's a nice gesture. Like when the Avengers assembled.