Peter (as King David): So, everyone, it has been a while since we last met. What has been going on in 2 Samuel 3?

Lois (as Abner): Well, Peter, Abner has been really busy. He's been trying to make Ish-bosheth, the son of Saul, king over Israel.

Stewie (as Joab): Let me tell you about what else happened! There was a battle between Abner and Joab. In the end, Abner was killed.

Brian (as Joab): Yeah, it was totally brutal. I mean, I was a little worried about killing Abner, but David told me to do it and I had to follow orders.

Quagmire (as Ish-bosheth): But don't forget about me, guys! I was in the middle of this whole thing, too. I was the king of Israel.

Cleveland (as David): Yeah, but Ish-bosheth's reign didn't last too long. David was eventually declared king of all Israel.

Peter: Alright, there you have it, folks. Tune in next week for the next chapter of 2 Samuel. In the meantime, let's all go watch the new Marvel movie - it looks really good!