Alex Trebek: So, tell us a little bit about yourself.

Contestant: Well, I was recently reading the Bible, and I wanted to give you a summary of 2 Samuel 3.

Alex Trebek: [sighs] Well, if you must.

Contestant: Basically the chapter starts off with a long war between the house of Saul and the house of David. It's very complicated, with alliances being formed, broken, and realigned. Eventually, David is victorious and he takes control of the kingdom.

Alex Trebek: [sighs again] Okay, that's great. Anything else?

Contestant: Well, there's also a subplot involving Abner, who was a commander in Saul's army. He switches sides and joins David, and then he is killed in a very suspicious way by one of David's men.

Alex Trebek: Okay, that's interesting. Anything else?

Contestant: Yeah, there's also a really interesting bit about David's sons. He has two sons, Amnon and Absalom, who have a very complicated relationship. Amnon rapes Absalom's sister, and then Absalom kills Amnon in revenge.

Alex Trebek: [exasperated] Alright, that's enough Bible for one night. Let's move on to something else.