Alex Trebek: Alright, so let's start with something basic. Tell me a bit about yourself!

Contestant: Well, I was thinking of summarizing the Bible! Specifically, 2 Samuel 2.

Alex Trebek (Sighing): Ugh, not this again. Fine, if you must.

Contestant: Sure! In 2 Samuel 2, we learn that David is anointed king of Judah, and then later of all Israel. He then defeats the armies of Ishbosheth, who was the son of Saul, the previous king. Afterwards, David appoints Abner as commander of the armies, and Abner then helps David to further strengthen his kingdom. Finally, there's a battle between Abner's forces and the forces of Joab, David's nephew. In the battle, Abner is killed and Joab is victorious.

Alex Trebek (Rolling his eyes): Yes, yes, I get it. Anything else?