Alex Trebek: So, what brings you here to Jeopardy today?

Contestant: Well, Alex, I wanted to tell you all about the Bible, specifically 2 Samuel 18.

Alex Trebek: (Visibly frustrated) Uh… I think that's a bit much for the “get to know you” period. How about you tell me something else?

Contestant: Alright, if you insist. So, in 2 Samuel 18, we learn that David divides his army into three groups and sends them out to battle against Israel's enemies. Unfortunately, Absalom, David's son, is killed in the battle. David is so grief-stricken that he refuses to be comforted and mourns for his son for the rest of his life.

Alex Trebek: (Sighs) Okay, that's… interesting. Let's move on.