1. And David numbered the people that {were} with him, and set captains of thousands and captains of hundreds over them. / 2. And David sent forth a third part of the people under the hand of Joab, and a third part under the hand of Abishai the son of Zeruiah, Joab's brother, and a third part under the hand of Ittai the Gittite. →

Alright, folks, here's the latest from 2 Samuel 18. David's son, Absalom, has been leading a revolt against his father, and he's getting ready to take on David's army in battle. David's army is led by Joab, and he's chosen some of his best men to go and fight Absalom. →

Joe: Alright, so what can you tell me about 2 Samuel 18? Bible Expert: Well, 2 Samuel 18 is a very significant chapter in the Old Testament because it deals with the death of King David's son, Absalom. →

Alex Trebek: So, what brings you here to Jeopardy today? Contestant: Well, Alex, I wanted to tell you all about the Bible, specifically 2 Samuel 18. Alex Trebek: (Visibly frustrated) Uh… I think that's a bit much for the “get to know you” period. →

Listen up maggots! Chapter 18 of 2 Samuel is all about David's son, Absalom. He's trying to take the throne from his father by gathering up troops of his own. David's man, Joab, hears about this and sets up a battle between the two. →

(Batman and Robin are standing in the Batcave, discussing the events of 2 Samuel 18) Batman: Greetings, old chum! We must now turn our attention to 2 Samuel 18. Robin: Right, Batman! It appears that David has divided his army into three parts and is sending them into battle against Absalom. →

Folks! Here's the deal. 2 Samuel 18 is a chapter about a great battle between David's forces and Absalom's forces. I'm not joking, it's a really tough fight. My father used to say that even though David was outnumbered, his forces were still able to come out on top. →

The 2 Samuel 18 chapter is an amazing one! King David was sad! He was mourning the death of his son, Absalom. He asked his servants, the "Hatfield" and the "McCoy" of the time, to tell him what had happened. →

Quagmire: Alright, so 2 Samuel 18. So, Peter, what's the deal? Peter: Well, Quagmire, David decides to send out his troops to fight Absalom. He sends out the commanders of the army and the troops follow. →