Listen up maggots! Chapter 18 of 2 Samuel is all about David's son, Absalom. He's trying to take the throne from his father by gathering up troops of his own. David's man, Joab, hears about this and sets up a battle between the two. In the end, Absalom dies and David mourns his death. But Joab reminds him that he can't be too soft on his own son, otherwise all his other troops will be disheartened. So, David gets it together and takes back the throne!