Listen up, maggots! This is 2 Samuel 6, and it's all about King David and his plan to bring the Ark of the Covenant back to Jerusalem. He gathers up 30,000 of his best men, and sets off to retrieve the Ark from the house of Abinadab. He places the Ark on a new cart, and has two of his sons - Uzzah and Ahio - drive it. Along the way, Uzzah reaches out to steady the Ark when it begins to wobble, and he is immediately struck down and killed by God. David is upset and fearful, so he leaves the Ark at the house of Obed-Edom. After three months, David and the people of Israel return to get the Ark, and they are all filled with joy and they celebrate with music and dancing. This time, they use six Levites to carry the Ark and they bring it to Jerusalem, where they celebrate with more music and dancing. Once the Ark is in Jerusalem, David offers sacrifices to God, and the people celebrate and offer sacrifices as well. So that's it for 2 Samuel 6, maggots. Now get back to work!