• King James Version

    1. Now Joab the son of Zeruiah perceived that the king's heart {was} toward Absalom. / 2. And Joab sent to Tekoah, and fetched thence a wise woman, and said unto her, I pray thee, feign thyself to be a mourner, and put on now mourning apparel, and anoint not thyself with oil, but be as a woman that had a long time mourned for the dead:

  • Norm

    So, 2 Samuel 14. We got a pretty wild story here. King David's son Absalom is tryin' to get back into his father's good graces after he ran away after killing his brother Amnon. So Absalom's got a plan to get back in David's good books: he sends a woman to David to tell him a story about a man whose sons killed each other and the father doesn't know what to do about it.

  • Joe Rogan Experience

    Joe: Alright everyone, today we've got a Bible expert on the show. We're gonna be talking about 2 Samuel 14. What's going on in this chapter? Expert: Well, this chapter opens with a woman, the daughter of a man named Absalom, who approaches King David with a request.

  • Jeopardy

    Alex Trebek: So, tell me a little bit about yourself! Contestant: Well, Alex, I'd like to tell you about 2 Samuel 14. Alex Trebek: (sighs) Okay, go ahead. Contestant: This chapter tells the story of Joab, who was David's army general.

  • Drill Sergeant

    ALRIGHT SOLDIERS, LISTEN UP! 2 SAMUEL 14: So King David was really upset at his son Absalom for killing his brother Amnon. Absalom fled from Jerusalem, and David was really torn up about it. Then Joab, the commander of David's army, decides he's gonna help.

  • Batman

    (Joker enters) Joker: Ah, Batman and Robin, just the two I wanted to see! Batman: What do you want, Joker? Joker: I'm here to tell you about 2 Samuel 14! Robin: What's the chapter about, Joker? Joker: A wise woman from Tekoah intervenes in a dispute between a rich man and a poor man.

  • Joe Biden

    Folks! Here's the deal: 2 Samuel 14 is a real rollercoaster ride of a chapter. I'm not joking! My father used to say it was like a movie, and I mean it. We got a King and a dead son, and a woman seeking justice.

  • Donald Trump

    2 Samuel 14 was a terrific chapter, with a huge impact on America. Believe me, many people are saying it was one of the most important chapters in the Bible. It's an amazing story of a woman who lost her son and desperately wanted her grandson to be restored to the throne.

  • Family Guy

    Peter: Alright, so 2 Samuel 14. Brian, you wanna take it? Brian: Sure. So, a woman approaches King David and tells him her story. She's the daughter of an exiled family, and her son is dead. She wants to bury him in the royal cemetery.