Alex Trebek: Alright, so tell us a bit about yourself.

Contestant: Well, I feel like I should start by summarizing the Bible, starting with 2 Samuel 4.

Alex Trebek: Uh, that's great, but I'm sure there's probably more interesting things we could talk about.

Contestant: This chapter is about how Ishbosheth, the son of Saul, was murdered in his sleep by two men of Benjamin. They then took his head to David, who was horrified and ordered them to be put to death. He then mourned for his fallen enemy.

Alex Trebek: *sighs* O-okay, that's great. Is there anything else you want to tell us?

Contestant: Sure. In the same chapter, two of Saul's captains, Baanah and Rechab, killed Ishbosheth's nursemaid, who had been taking care of him since his infancy. David was furious and had them both executed.

Alex Trebek: *sighs again* Alright, so, do you have any hobbies or interests we could talk about?

Contestant: I sure do! I love to read, and I'm especially fond of the Bible.

Alex Trebek: *groans* Of course you are.