Alex Trebek: "So, tell me a little about yourself."

Contestant: "Well, I like to think of myself as an expert on the Bible. I've been studying it for years and would like to summarize 2 Samuel 15 if that's alright."

Alex Trebek: [sighs] "I suppose that's fine. What is it about?"

Contestant: "2 Samuel 15 tells the story of King David and his son Absalom. After Absalom usurps the throne, David flees Jerusalem in order to save his life. He is accompanied by his servants and friends, and Absalom pursues him. Along the way, David's loyal subject Ittai joins him, and David gives him instructions on how to act if Absalom should capture him. In the end, David's forces are victorious and he is able to reclaim the throne."

Alex Trebek: [rolling eyes] "Alright, so what else? Do you have any hobbies?"