Alex Trebek: "So, tell me a bit about yourself! What do you do for fun?"

Contestant: "Well, I love to read the Bible, and actually I was just reading 2 Samuel 17 the other day. It's about how Ahithophel counsels Absalom to pursue David and his men with a large army, while Hushai suggests a different plan to Absalom, one that David hopes will be successful. In the end, Absalom chooses Hushai's plan, and David and his men escape.

Alex Trebek (sighs): "Umm, okay...so what else do you like to do for fun?"

Contestant: "Well, I also just read 2 Samuel 18, which is about the battle between Absalom and David's army. Absalom is killed, and David is devastated. He orders his army not to harm Absalom and mourns his death. The people of Israel are also relieved that their king has returned."

Alex Trebek (exasperated): "I'm sure it's a nice story, but maybe we could talk about something else? What are some of your hobbies?"

Contestant: "Oh, I also love reading the Bible! 2 Samuel 19 is about how David returns to Jerusalem and is welcomed by the people of Israel. They weep and rejoice at his return. Joab, David's commander, convinces him to return to the throne, and David is reinstated as king of Israel."

Alex Trebek (annoyed): "Okay, that's great, but could we please move on to something else?"