Peter: Alright, ready for 1 Chronicles 29?

Lois: I'm ready!

Stewie: I'm always ready to talk about the Bible!

Brian: Okay, so this chapter is about King David and the people of Israel bringing offerings to God.

Peter: Wait, like, what kind of offerings?

Lois: Well, it's mostly gold and silver, but there are also bronze and iron items.

Stewie: So it's like a going-out-of-business sale at the mall.

Peter: Ha! I hear they have some really good deals at the mall.

Brian: Anyway, King David also gives a speech about how all the glory and honor and power should be given to God.

Lois: And then the people chant like "Hail King David!"

Stewie: More like, "Hail to the King, baby!"

Peter: Yeah, like, they should have asked Bruce Campbell to lead the chant.

Brian: Okay, so then David and his officials offer more sacrifices and they all bless God.

Lois: That's it, then the chapter ends.

Peter: Alright, so what did we learn today?

Stewie: That Bruce Campbell is the king of all kings!