Peter: Alright-y then, here we go with 1 Chronicles 19! So, the Israelites asked the Ammonites for help, but the Ammonites were like "No way, Jose!" So the Israelites were like, "Oh no, what are we gonna do now?" So then, Joab, who was like the commander of the Israelite army, was like, "Hey, don't worry, I got this!" So he and his army of twelve thousand men went to fight the Ammonites.

Lois: Oh boy, this is gonna be good!

Stewie: Yeah, twelve thousand men? That's a lot. I hope they don't all get taken out by a giant asteroid like in that Vin Diesel movie!

Brian: Yeah, that would be a real bummer.

Peter: So, anyway, they fight, and they totally wiped out the Ammonites. And then, they did the same thing to the Syrians, and they beat them too. So, then the Israelites were like "Yay! We won!" And they all lived happily ever after.

Lois: Well, that was an exciting chapter!

Stewie: Yeah, and no one got wiped out by an asteroid!