Peter: Alright, first off in Exodus 22, the Lord tells Moses that if someone steals an ox or sheep and kills it or sells it, they have to pay back five oxen for the one they stole.

Lois: Oh, wow! That's a lot of oxen.

Brian: Yeah, and if someone breaks into someone's house and gets caught, they get the death penalty.

Stewie: Plus, if someone lends money to someone else and they can't pay it back, the lender can't take the borrower's bed as payment. That's like, what my Uncle Kevin did to my cousin Jimmy!

Peter: Yeah, and the Lord also says that if someone curses their father or mother, they have to be put to death.

Lois: That's pretty serious.

Brian: Yeah, but then the Lord says that if someone sacrifices to any other god than the Lord, they'll be put to death.

Stewie: That's like something out of an episode of The Simpsons!

Peter: Yeah, and then the Lord says that if someone seduces a virgin to have sex with them, they have to pay the bride price and marry the girl.

Lois: Wow, that's pretty harsh.

Brian: Yeah, but the Lord also says that if someone is found guilty of witchcraft, they have to be put to death.

Stewie: That's like something out of an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Peter: Yeah, and then the Lord says that if someone lies about a person's property, they have to make restitution to the person they lied about.

Lois: That's a good rule.

Brian: Yeah, and then the Lord says that if someone doesn't keep their promise to the Lord, they have to pay a penalty.

Stewie: That's like something out of an episode of South Park!