• King James Version

    1. If a man shall steal an ox, or a sheep, and kill it, or sell it; he shall restore five oxen for an ox, and four sheep for a sheep. {or a sheep: or, or a goat} / 2. If a thief be found breaking up, and be smitten that he die, {there shall} no blood {be shed} for him.

  • Norm

    So in Exodus 22, God's like, "Hey, if you lend people money, don't charge interest. Also, if you kidnap someone and sell them, you're gonna get stoned. Also, if you own an ox and it gores someone, you gotta pay damages.

  • Joe Rogan Experience

    Joe: Alright, we're here with our Bible expert, and he's about to tell us about Exodus 22. Bible Expert: Yes, so Exodus 22 lays out how to treat foreigners and slaves. It also explains how God expects His people to treat animals.

  • Jeopardy

    Alex Trebek: "So, tell me a bit about yourself. What do you like to do in your spare time?" Contestant: "Well, I recently read the Bible, and I'd like to tell you about it, starting with Exodus 22!" Alex Trebek: *Sighs* "Alright, if you must.

  • Drill Sergeant

    "LISTEN UP, SOLDIERS! EXODUS 22 IS ALL ABOUT THE LAWS GOD GAVE MOSES TO KEEP THE PEOPLE IN LINE. IF YOU STEAL, BE PREPARED TO BE FINED DOUBLE; IF YOU LEND MONEY, DON'T CHARGE INTEREST; IF YOU BORROW AN ANIMAL, TAKE CARE OF IT; IF YOU FIND A STRAYED ANIMAL, RETURN IT TO ITS OWNER; IF YOU SACRIFICE AN ANIMAL, DON'T USE ITS BLOOD IN YOUR OFFERINGS; IF YOU HELP A STRANGER, DON'T MISLEAD THEM; IF YOU SLEEP WITH A VIRGIN, MARRY HER; IF YOU HARM OR KILL AN ANIMAL, YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR IT; AND IF YOU HARM OR KILL A PERSON, YOU'LL BE PUT TO DEATH.

  • Batman

    Batman: For starters, Robin, let us review the laws given in the book of Exodus. Robin: Right, Batman. What are the laws in Exodus 22? Batman: If a man steals an ox or a sheep and kills or sells it, he must pay back five oxen for one ox or four sheep for one sheep.

  • Joe Biden

    Hey folks, see here, Jack, this chapter's all about justice. My father used to say that justice is blind, no malarkey! So, here's the deal in Exodus 22: if you steal an ox or a sheep, you gotta give it back fourfold.

  • Donald Trump

    In Exodus 22, God lays out the rules of justice and fairness in the land of Israel. The first rule is that if a thief is caught in the act, he must restore what he has stolen - bigly! He must also pay a fine, plus an additional 20%.

  • Family Guy

    Peter: Alright, first off in Exodus 22, the Lord tells Moses that if someone steals an ox or sheep and kills it or sells it, they have to pay back five oxen for the one they stole. Lois: Oh, wow! That's a lot of oxen.