Peter: Alright, let's sum up John 5. So, Jesus is at the pool of Bethesda and he's healing a bunch of people.

Lois: Oh, like a real-life Dr. House!

Peter: Yeah, and then the guy he healed is so excited he runs around telling everyone. And then the Jewish leaders get mad and they take Jesus to court.

Stewie: So, like an episode of Law & Order: SVU, only Jesus is the suspect!

Peter: Right. And then Jesus tells them that he's the son of God and that he's equal to God, which really upsets them.

Cleveland: So, like when Darth Vader told Luke he was his father, only Jesus was more powerful?

Peter: Yeah. And then Jesus talks about how his Father will raise people from the dead on Judgment Day.

Quagmire: Like an episode of The Walking Dead, only with God instead of zombies!

Peter: Yeah, pretty much. And then Jesus tells the Jews that if they believe in him, they'll have eternal life.

Lois: So, like a real-life version of The Matrix, only with Jesus instead of Keanu Reeves!

Peter: Right. And then Jesus says that he's the judge of the world, and that's the end of John 5.