Peter: Alright Family, it's time for our summary of Mark 13.

Lois: Oh boy!

Stewie: Hold on, this is a Bible chapter? I thought it was an episode of The Office.

Brian: Not a chance, Stewie. Anyway, Mark 13 talks about the end of the world and Jesus' warnings about the destruction of the temple.

Peter: Yeah, like when Michael Scott tried to destroy the Dunder Mifflin office by throwing a pot of chili at the wall.

Lois: That's not the same thing, Peter.

Stewie: Yeah, it's not like Jesus tried to bring down the temple by throwing a potful of chili at it.

Brian: Okay, okay, let's focus. Jesus tells his disciples to be on guard and not be deceived, and then he talks about the signs of his coming and the end of the world.

Lois: Sounds like a lot of Hollywood movies.

Peter: Yeah, like when the raptors were coming to attack the city in Jurassic Park.

Stewie: Oh, I get it! Jesus is like Jeff Goldblum and the raptors are the end of the world.

Brian: That's not quite right, Stewie, but in any case Jesus goes on to talk about how he'll come back and how no one knows when that'll happen.

Lois: Wow, so Jesus is like a surprise guest at a surprise party.

Peter: Yeah, like when Bob Barker showed up in that one episode of The Simpsons.

Stewie: Ooh, I remember that! He said his catchphrase: "Come on down!"

Brian: Alright, moving on. Jesus talks about how his followers should be ready for his coming and should take care of one another.

Lois: That's nice.

Peter: Yeah, like when Barney and Ted took care of each other in How I Met Your Mother.

Stewie: Or when Stewie and Brian took care of each other in that one episode of Family Guy!

Brian: Alright, that's enough. In any case, Jesus ends the chapter by saying that no one knows when the end of the world will come, so they should always be ready.

Lois: Good advice.

Peter: Yeah, like when Homer said "Mmm, donuts" in that one episode of The Simpsons.