Peter: Alright, 1 Kings 12! So, Jeroboam was the son of Nebat and he led a rebellion against Rehoboam, who was the son of Solomon. Rehoboam was gonna be really tough on the people, so they asked Jeroboam to be their king instead.

Brian: Wow, kinda like when Tony Romo replaced Drew Bledsoe on the Cowboys?

Peter: Sure, Brian, if you want it to be. So then Jeroboam built shrines and altars, and even created golden calves for all the cities in Israel, which was not cool. God was pretty mad, so he sent a guy named Shemaiah to talk to Rehoboam and Jeroboam.

Lois: What did he say?

Peter: He said, "Don't fight against each other, because this was all part of God's plan." But Jeroboam didn't listen and just kept going. He even appointed priests from all sorts of different tribes, which was not cool according to God's rules.

Stewie: Ugh, what a moron. It's like when that one guy from Survivor didn't listen to Jeff Probst.

Peter: Yeah, exactly. So then Jeroboam and Rehoboam both died, and their sons became the new kings.

Chris: Wait, did the sons listen to God?

Peter: Nope, they just kept doing the same thing their fathers did. So God sent prophets to tell them to stop, but they wouldn't listen.

Meg: Oh man, like when my dad tells me to clean my room and I don't listen?

Peter: Yup, just like that.