Folks, here's the deal. When David killed Goliath, King Saul was so impressed that he gave him a job and said he was like a son to him. I'm not joking—literally! This made Saul's own son, Jonathan, so mad that he and David became friends, and they made a covenant of loyalty to each other. No malarkey!

But then Jonathan saw how much Saul was beginning to hate David, so he warned him to go away and hide. C'mon, man! Saul kept trying to kill David and sent men out to hunt him down, but David kept escaping. It was like he was a ninja or something! I tell you what, my father used to say that David was the greatest escape artist of all time—no exaggeration.

Anyway, Saul finally got so jealous of David that he made his daughter, Michal, marry him. See here, Jack, she ended up helping David escape from Saul's palace. What was that? Or uh, you know, even though Saul was her father, Michal was on David's side. Not gonna happen for me, I tell you that!

Ultimately, David became so successful that Saul was afraid of him. Excuse me, but that's when Saul tried to kill him one last time by throwing a spear at him. But Michal saved David again, and he ran away to a different city. That was the end of Saul's reign over Israel.