Listen, Jack, here's the deal: I'm talking about 1 Kings 1. No malarkey. C'mon, man! My father used to say, "If you want to understand the Bible, you have to read it chapter by chapter." Literally! So, here's what happens in 1 Kings 1. →

Listen, Jack, here's the deal. Solomon, King of Israel, is getting old and he knows his time is coming. He's got some instructions for his son and successor, Rehoboam. First off, he wants him to follow the Lord with all his heart. →

Listen, Jack, here's the deal: I'm not joking, no malarkey, but my father used to say that Solomon was the wisest man who ever lived, literally. And see here, Jack, 1 Kings 3 is all about how Solomon asked God for wisdom, and God granted it. →

C'mon, man! Listen, Jack, here's the deal. In the time of King Solomon, God made him wiser than any other person on the face of the earth - literally! Now, my father used to say, wisdom like that can only come from the Lord. →

"Listen, Jack, 1 Kings 5 is a doozy, no malarkey! Here's the deal: King Solomon, who was a literal genius, wanted to build God's temple, and he set out to get the cedarwood he needed for the project. So he went to King Hiram of Tyre, who agreed to give him the wood if Solomon provided food for his army. →

Folks, listen up! Here's the deal: My father used to say, "No malarkey!" And I'm not joking. 1 Kings 6 is literally all about King Solomon's building of the temple. See here, Jack, this is a big deal. For seven years, Solomon and his team worked hard on this masterpiece. →

Folks, I'm not joking, here's the deal: 1 Kings 7 tells the story of King Solomon and his palace. He had a lot of money and a lot of power. He had a palace that was literally fit for a king - it was decorated with the finest materials, like gold and ivory and silver, and it was built with the most beautiful stones. →

Listen, Jack, c'mon man, here's the deal: Solomon is building this temple for the Lord, and it's a big deal. I mean, literally, this thing is huge. My father used to say, "You can build a temple like this, but you can never build a God like that!" See here, Jack, what was that? Solomon is dedicating this temple to the Lord, and it's full of all kinds of stuff - gold, silver, bronze, wood - you name it. →

"Folks, here's the deal. A long time ago, God made a promise to King Solomon, that if he kept the commandments, God would establish the throne of his kingdom forever. Well, no malarkey, Solomon kept his word and built the Temple, and God kept His. →

Listen, Jack, here's the deal: no malarkey! King Solomon was pretty much the king of kings, and everyone was coming to him for wisdom and all. C'mon, man! Literally, like all of the kings of the earth were coming to him. →

Listen, Jack, I'm not gonna lie - my father used to say that Solomon had it all when it came to having wives and concubines. C'mon, man, the guy had seven hundred of 'em - literally! But here's the deal: it was too much for even a wise man like him. →

Listen, Jack, I'm not joking when I say that this chapter of the Bible is straight-up bananas. My father used to say that it was a real doozy. I mean, here's the deal: King Rehoboam gets off the throne and decides that he's gonna make things harder for the people of Israel. →

Listen, Jack, c'mon, man! Here's the deal: no malarkey. A long time ago, when my father used to say, there was a young prophet from Judah. He was sent to Bethel to preach against the altar there, 'cause it was an altar to a false god. →

Listen, Jack, I'm not joking here. I tell you what, 1 Kings 14 is all about King Jeroboam's son, Abijah, who falls ill and his mother goes to see the prophet Ahijah in Shiloh for help. Ahijah tells her that Abijah will die and there will be no one to carry on Jeroboam's legacy, but Jeroboam's house will be cut off anyway, c'mon man! So then Jeroboam himself goes to see Ahijah and gets the same message, but then Ahijah makes an exception. →

Listen, Jack, there was this king of Israel, King Asa, right? He was a good man, no malarkey, and he ruled his kingdom with justice and fairness. He got rid of all the idols and foreign gods his people had been worshipping and he made sure they only worshipped the Lord. →

Listen, Jack, here's the deal. My father used to say that the Lord was so angry with Baasha and his family that he destroyed them. Uh, or, you know, they were just so wicked that he had to. The Lord gave their kingdom to Jeroboam, who was way better than Baasha. →

Listen, Jack, my father used to say, "C'mon, man, no malarkey!" And in 1 Kings 17, here's the deal: Elijah, the prophet, told King Ahab that it was gonna rain, and it didn't. So, Ahab said, "What was that?" and Elijah said, "It's gonna be like this for a while. →

Listen, Jack, I'm not gonna lie - I don't know much about the Bible, but here's the deal: Elijah was a prophet in 1 Kings 18 and he was, uh, you know, a real cool dude. He came up to the King of Israel, who was a big ol' tyrant, and said "C'mon, man! Let's have a contest between the true God and your false gods. →

Listen Jack, I'm telling you I'm not gonna sugarcoat it: Elijah had a moment. I mean, he was really feeling down in the dumps, telling God he was the only one left, and it was all just too much for him. →

Listen, Jack, here's the deal: 1 Kings 20 is all about Ahab, the king of Israel, and Ben-Hadad, the king of Syria. Ahab and Ben-Hadad had a disagreement, and Ben-Hadad asked Ahab to give back all the cities and silver and gold that he had taken from him. →

Folks! C'mon, man! Here's the deal. So, literally, I tell you what, we're talking about 1 Kings 21. See here, Jack, it starts off with a wicked king, Ahab, and his wife, Jezebel. They decided to take over a vineyard that didn't belong to them, and then they had the guy who owned it killed. →

C'mon, man! Here's the deal. See here, Jack, 1 Kings 22 tells the story of when King Ahab asked Jehoshaphat to join him in a war against the Syrians. Now, Jehoshaphat was weary of this request, but Ahab was relentless, so Jehoshaphat finally agreed. →