Folks, here's the deal: we already heard the sad news about Saul and Jonathan, right? I mean, literally, the Philistines killed them both in battle. That's why they wrote that song about them. My father used to say "Sometimes the Lord gives and sometimes the Lord takes away. →

C'mon, man! Here's the deal, folks. I'm not joking, literally. We're talking about 2 Samuel 2. Listen, Jack, my father used to say, "When someone's gotta go, they gotta go." Now, that's not gonna happen here. →

Folks, here's the deal: I'm talking about the chapter in 2 Samuel that tells the story of Abner and Ish-bosheth. My father used to say, "Abner was a man of valor and honor." Well, Abner had a conflict with Ish-bosheth, who was Saul's son, over the throne. →

Well, folks, here's the deal - 2 Samuel 4 starts off with a bang - literally. The son of Saul, Ish-Bosheth, is murdered by two of his own men. It's an incredible story, my father used to say, and no malarkey! These two guys come up with a plan to kill their own leader - and they follow through, see here, Jack. →

Folks, listen, here's the deal. 2 Samuel 5 is all about this dude, David, who was the King of Israel. Now, literally, he was a pretty impressive guy. My father used to say he was the king of kings. Or uh, you know, the king of the people. →

Listen, Jack, I tell you what, I'm not joking here, no malarkey. C'mon, man! What was that? Here's the deal. In 2 Samuel 6, we find out what happened when King David brought the Ark of the Lord back to Jerusalem. →

Hey folks, listen up. Here's the deal. My father used to say, "No malarkey: God is great and He's gonna take care of His people." Well, that's what happened in 2 Samuel 7. See, King David wanted to build God a temple, but God said to him, "Nope, uh, that's not gonna happen. →

Folks, here's the deal: 2 Samuel 8 is all about David's victories. I tell ya, he's like a one-man army. I'm not joking - he defeated the Philistines, the Moabites, the Ammonites, and the Edomites. He literally wiped 'em out! Listen, Jack, the Philistines were tough, but David still managed to take away their livestock. →

C'mon, man! See here, Jack, a looong time ago, my father used to say: "We gotta be sure to help our brothers and sisters who don't have as much as us." Well, here's the deal. Literally, David, the king of Israel, found out that a distant relative of his, Jonathan, had a son, Mephibosheth, who was lame in both feet. →

Folks, I'm not gonna lie, I've got a great story for y'all about what happened in 2 Samuel 10. See here, Jack, it's about a man named David who had a bit of a problem and he needed to find a solution - turns out he had to fight a few wars. →

Folks, listen up! Here's the deal. My father used to say that when you're a leader, you need to make tough decisions, no malarkey. But the thing is, sometimes those decisions can get you into some uh, trouble. →

Folks, here's the deal. My father used to say, "Listen, Jack, if you're gonna be a leader, you gotta pay the price." So King David paid the price for his sins, if you know what I mean. I'm not joking. They put him through the wringer. →

Listen, Jack, here's the deal: we gotta talk about 2 Samuel 13. My father used to say, "God has plans for us, and this chapter is one of 'em". So, c'mon man! The story starts off with some serious drama: David's son Amnon falls in love with his half-sister Tamar. →

Folks! Here's the deal: 2 Samuel 14 is a real rollercoaster ride of a chapter. I'm not joking! My father used to say it was like a movie, and I mean it. We got a King and a dead son, and a woman seeking justice. →

Folks! See here, Jack: 2 Samuel 15 is talkin' about Absalom, who's the son of King David. Now, this is a pretty serious situation: Absalom's tryin' to take his dad's throne! My father used to say, you don't mess with family business, but Absalom's gonna do it anyway. →

Listen, Jack. Here's the deal. I'm not joking. My father used to say, it's not what you know, but who you know, especially when you're faced with adversity. Well, there was plenty of adversity in 2 Samuel 16. →

Folks, listen, you know what I'm talking about here, no malarkey: 2 Samuel 17. My father used to say, "No man's an island." Well, that's what this chapter is about. Here's the deal: David's son Absalom, he's trying to overthrow his dad and take over the kingdom. →

Folks! Here's the deal. 2 Samuel 18 is a chapter about a great battle between David's forces and Absalom's forces. I'm not joking, it's a really tough fight. My father used to say that even though David was outnumbered, his forces were still able to come out on top. →

Folks! No malarkey! My father used to say that 2 Samuel 19 was a real humdinger. See here, Jack. It starts with Joab's attempt to bring David back to Jerusalem, but it isn't as easy as it seems. David's troops had been scattered all over the place, and it's a real mess. →

Listen, Jack, here's the deal: you got trouble in 2 Samuel, Chapter 20. No malarkey! There's a man named Sheba, who's revolting against the King. C'mon, man! That's not gonna happen. So, King David sends out his men, who literally tear down the city's walls. →

Folks, here's the deal: 2 Samuel 21 is no malarkey. It's literally an incredible chapter in the Bible. See here, Jack, the story takes us way back to the days of King David. My father used to say, "David was an amazing king, and he had an incredible army of warriors. →

Listen, Jack, here's the deal. My father used to say that you can't beat the truth, and that's what 2 Samuel 22 is all about. It's a song of praise from David to the Lord for delivering him from all his enemies, his troubles, and his distress. →

Folks, here's the deal: I'm tellin' ya, 2 Samuel 23 is literally a great chapter. I mean, I'm not jokin', my father used to say it was one of the best ones. See here, Jack: It's full of some of the bravest warriors, like Eleazar, Shammah, and Abishai. →

Folks, here's the deal. No malarkey - no matter how you look at it, this chapter of the Bible is a real doozy. It all starts with King David taking a census of the people of Israel. Now, I'm not joking, my father used to say, "You count your blessings, but don't count your people!" See here, Jack - David didn't listen, and he was told by God that he was gonna pay for it. →