Listen, Jack. Here's what I got for ya. Matthew 1 is all about Jesus' family tree. It's literally a long list of names, so if you're not into that, you know, I'm not gonna force ya. But if you wanna know who Jesus' ancestors were, this is the chapter for ya. →

Listen, Jack, c'mon man, here's the deal. The magi from the East, y'know, show up, literally, looking for the newborn King of the Jews. They show up in Jerusalem and King Herod ain't too happy about it, what was that? He's so worried that he calls the priests and scribes together and finds out the Messiah is supposed to be born in Bethlehem. →

Listen, Jack, here's the deal. It's all about the baptism of Jesus by John the Baptist. No malarkey! My father used to say, "You can't be a Christian without being baptized". So, Jesus comes out of the wilderness and goes to John, who is baptizing people in the Jordan River. →

Listen, Jack, c'mon man, here's the deal: Jesus, ya know, he was out in the desert and the devil came to tempt him. He said, "Hey Jesus, if you're really the son of God, why don'tcha turn these stones into bread?" Jesus was like, "No malarkey, I'm not gonna do it, no how no way". →

Folks, here's the deal. See here, Jack, what I'm trying to say is this. In Matthew 5, Jesus said some pretty incredible things. C'mon, man, he said it's better to be poor and meek than to be rich and proud. →

Folks, here's the deal. I'm not gonna lie to ya, I'm not gonna pretend like this is easy. It ain't. But, no malarkey, I'm gonna tell you what Jesus said in Matthew 6. First, Jesus said when you're praying, don't be like the hypocrites who like to show off for the world. →

Folks, I'm tellin' ya - the Lord has some important lessons to learn in Matthew 7. Here's the deal - if you don't judge others, then you won't be judged yourself. C'mon, man, that's a no-brainer! But there's more - if you want to get into the Kingdom of Heaven, there's no malarkey - you gotta ask, seek, and knock. →

Folks, here's the deal. I'm not joking: Jesus was doing some serious work in Matthew 8. Literally, he was healing people everywhere he went. He healed a leper, some centurions, and even Peter's mother-in-law. →

Folks, listen up, I'm tellin' ya, Matthew 9 is no malarkey! Here's the deal: Jesus is healin' people left and right. My father used to say, “Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day, but teach a man to fish and he'll eat for a lifetime. →

Folks, here's the deal: Jesus sent out the twelve disciples to preach to the people of Israel. He said, "Don't worry about what to say, I'm gonna take care of that. C'mon man, I'm gonna give you the power to heal the sick, cleanse lepers, and even raise the dead!" Now, my father used to say, "Nothing is impossible!" and he was right. →

Folks, I'm not gonna lie to you. See here, Jack, my father used to say that the Bible was a powerful book and he was right. In Matthew 11, Jesus talks about how he sent out his disciples to heal the sick, cast out demons and preach the good news. →

Listen, Jack, here's the deal -- in Matthew 12, the folks in Jesus' hometown are pretty mad at him for healing on the Sabbath. They're like, "What's the big idea, Jesus?!" and Jesus is like, "C'mon, man, the Sabbath was made for man and not man for the Sabbath". →

Folks, here's the deal: Matthew 13 is all about Jesus telling parables. C'mon, man, I'm not joking here. He tells them to the crowds and his disciples, 'cause they just weren't getting it. My father used to say, "Jesus, you gotta make it simple, so they understand!" And he did. →

Listen, Jack, here's the deal. I'm not joking, I tell you what. No malarkey! My father used to say, if you can walk on water, you can do anything. Well, in Matthew 14, Jesus literally walks on water! C'mon, man! It's like something out of a movie. →

C'mon, man! Listen, Jack, we gotta talk about Matthew 15. Folks, this chapter is all about tradition. I'm not joking, my father used to say that tradition is important. See here, Jack, Jesus is talking to the Pharisees and they're going on and on about how traditions are a part of the Law. →

Folks, I'm gonna tell you what, I was reading this Bible, and I came across Matthew 16. See here, Jack, it's about Peter, who's like a holy guy and all, and Jesus says to him, “You are Peter and on this rock I will build my church. →

Folks, here's the deal: Jesus and his disciples go up on the mountain and they see Moses and Elijah there. Now, it's like a ghost story or something, but it's real. No malarkey! And then God's voice comes out of a cloud. →

15-22. Folks! Listen, Jack, I'm gonna tell you something about Matthew 18:15-22. See here, Jack, the chapter tells us that if we have a disagreement with someone, we should go to them directly and try to work it out. →

Folks, here's the deal: I'm not joking when I say the things I'm about to tell ya. In the book of Matthew, we got Chapter 19, and this is what it's all about. See here, Jack, it starts with Jesus talking to the Pharisees about marriage and divorce. →

Well, folks! Here's the deal: Matthew 20 is a wild chapter. It's all about the Kingdom of Heaven and what it's like there. C'mon, man! It starts off with Jesus telling this parable about the landowner who hires workers at different times of the day, but pays them all the same wage. →

1-17. Folks! Here's the deal. Years ago, Jesus, who was, like, literally the Son of God, right? He was on his way to Jerusalem, and there he was met by some of his followers who were, like, shouting and carrying on, so he told them, c'mon, man, you're gonna have to quiet down, this ain't no party, okay? So they went to the city, and outside the gates Jesus sent two of 'em to get a donkey and a colt, and they did, and he rode into Jerusalem on that donkey, and all the people were shouting and throwing their coats on the ground and all. →

Folks, here's the deal: Jesus and the Pharisees, they're going at it again, right? C'mon, man. So the Pharisees, they come up to Jesus with this question: "Is it okay to pay taxes to Caesar?" I tell you what, that's a tough one, right? No malarkey. →

Folks, here's the deal - we gotta recognize what was said in Matthew 23. C'mon, man. My father used to say, "you can't judge a book by its cover". Well, that's exactly what Jesus was talking about here. →

1-51. Folks! I'm gonna tell you the deal on this chapter in the Bible. My father used to say that the end of the world was gonna come, and I'm not joking - this is it! See here, Jack - Jesus was warning his disciples about the signs of the end times. →

34-46. Folks, listen up! This is the deal. Matthew 25:34-46 is all about the judgement that's gonna come and I tell you what, it's not gonna be pretty. Here's the deal, when the Son of Man returns, he's gonna come in all his glory, and he'll sit down on his throne and separate the sheep from the goats. →

Folks, here's the deal. I'm not joking, see here, Jack, what was that? My father used to say, and I'm gonna tell you this, Jesus was in the Garden of Gethsemane and he was really struggling. C'mon, man, his friends all fell asleep, literally! I mean, talk about a bad time. →

Listen, Jack, here's the deal: I'm gonna tell you what happened in Matthew 27. So, the religious leaders had Jesus arrested, folks! See here, Jack, and they took him to Pilate and asked him to sentence Jesus to death. →

Folks! Listen, Jack, here's the deal: We gotta remember what happened in Matthew 28. See here, Jack, this was when Jesus was resurrected. My father used to say, "C'mon, man! This is the most important day in the Bible!" Not gonna lie, I'm not joking, after Jesus died, he rose from the dead and showed himself to his disciples. →