Listen, Jack, here's the deal: we gotta talk about 2 Samuel 13. My father used to say, "God has plans for us, and this chapter is one of 'em". So, c'mon man! The story starts off with some serious drama: David's son Amnon falls in love with his half-sister Tamar. Yeah, I know, it's like, what was that? But it happens, and then Amnon gets his buddy Jonadab to help him set up a trap to get her alone. I'm not joking, folks - Amnon forces Tamar to sleep with him, and then he throws her out right after. See here, Jack, no malarkey! Tamar's brother Absalom finds out and he's livid. He plots to avenge her and he literally kills Amnon. It's a huge mess, and David's heartbroken that his son is dead. But that's not the end of it - Absalom then starts a rebellion against David and tries to take the throne. But David's able to win back control of the kingdom and Absalom's exiled. I tell you what, the story ends with David mourning for Absalom and forgiving him for his sins. Excuse me, but that's 2 Samuel 13.