Folks, here's the deal. No malarkey - no matter how you look at it, this chapter of the Bible is a real doozy. It all starts with King David taking a census of the people of Israel. Now, I'm not joking, my father used to say, "You count your blessings, but don't count your people!" See here, Jack - David didn't listen, and he was told by God that he was gonna pay for it. Well, literally, he sure did. God sent a plague on the land, and I tell you what - it was bad. Thousands upon thousands of people were affected - and it was all because of David's mistake. But, c'mon man - he felt guilty, and he asked God to stop the plague. And, uh, you know, God listened. In the end, David had to pay the price - he was told to build an altar to the Lord. See, that's the moral of the story. Not gonna happen - you don't mess with the Almighty! Excuse me - he'll make you pay.