Listen, Jack, this chapter is all about rules, and I'm not joking here. C'mon, man, you think I'm gonna let you off the hook on this one? Not gonna happen! My father used to say, "If you want to do it right, you gotta do it by the book" and see here, Jack, that's Deuteronomy 22!

Now, here's the deal. If a man takes a wife, he's gotta make sure she's a virgin. And if she ain't, he's gotta pay up. Literally, he's gotta pay her dad the bride price. Also, if a man's found sleeping with a married girl, they gotta both be stoned. I tell you what, that's a real no-no.

Folks, here's the other half: no malarkey when it comes to fashion. No mixing fabrics. What was that? No wool and linen together, or uh, you know, you can't wear two different kinds of fibers at once. Excuse me? No, that's not gonna fly.

And if you build a new house, you gotta put a railing around the roof so no one falls off. And don't forget the birds either - you gotta leave 'em alone, otherwise you're gonna pay for it. All the way from the eggs to the mother. That's the law!

See, if you follow these rules, you'll be alright. But if you don't, you're gonna pay the price. So, let's do it right, folks. No malarkey!