Listen, Jack, here's the deal: no malarkey. In Deuteronomy 3, Moses is recounting the Israelites' journey through the land of Og, King of Bashan. Og was a giant of a man, and his bed was literally 13 and a half feet long and six feet wide! Can you imagine that? My father used to say, "Nobody's bed should be that big, unless they're the King of Bashan." Well, Og, he was defeated and the Israelites were able to take his land and his cities, and they were all given to the tribes of Reuben and Gad.

But that's not all! The Israelites also conquered the rest of the region, including the land of the Amorites, and all the cities and villages in the area. I tell you what, folks, God was with them every step of the way, and He helped them as they fought and conquered their enemies. See here, Jack, they were victorious and they gave the land they conquered to the tribes of Reuben, Gad, and the half-tribe of Manasseh.

But, excuse me, that's not the end of the story. Moses himself, he was not allowed to enter the Promised Land, and he was very sad. But God told him, "You will never enter the land, but you will be able to look out over it from the top of a mountain." Or uh, you know, God said that Moses would be able to look out and see the land from afar, but he would never be able to enter it. Not gonna happen.

C'mon, man! That's Deuteronomy 3, folks. What was that? Literally.