Peter: Alright, so here's the deal with Revelation 2. Jesus is like, writing letters to the seven churches of Asia, and he's telling them what's up.

Lois: Yeah? So what does Jesus have to say?

Peter: Well, first off he's like, "I know your deeds and your hard work, and how you don't tolerate evil. I know you've tested those who call themselves apostles, but are not, and have found them false."

Lois: Wow, Jesus is like a detective!

Brian: Yeah, he's like Sherlock Holmes, but with more miracles.

Peter: So then Jesus is like, "But I have this against you: you have forsaken the love you had at first. Remember then how far you have fallen, and repent and do the things you did at first…"

Lois: So Jesus is like, don't forget what you used to be, and don't give up on your love.

Peter: Yeah, and then he's like, "If you don't repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place."

Brian: Sounds like Jesus is the ultimate karaoke DJ. "You better repent or I'm gonna cut the mic!"