Peter: Alright, so this is Hosea 2. So, the Lord says to Israel, "Accuse your mother, for she is not my wife, and I am not her husband."

Lois: Wow, that's harsh.

Peter: Yeah, but then the Lord says he's gonna allure her and win her heart back. He says he's gonna bring her into the desert and speak tenderly to her.

Brian: So, the Lord's like, "Hey, Israel, I know you messed up but I'm gonna give you another chance."

Meg: Yeah, it's like that time I messed up my algebra test and I asked Dad for a second chance.

Peter: Yeah, but this is way more important, Meg. The Lord says he's gonna give them back all the days they missed out on, like that time I took a nap instead of mowing the lawn.

Lois: Peter, this isn't about you.

Peter: Alright, so then the Lord says he's gonna make a covenant with them and not punish them anymore. He says he's gonna give them a new name, like Beyoncé or something.

Brian: That doesn't make any sense, Peter.

Peter: Alright, alright, so then the Lord says he's gonna make them like a marriage between him and Israel, like a marriage between Beyoncé and Jay-Z.

Meg: So, the Lord's like, "Hey, Israel, I'm gonna make it official, let's get married."

Lois: That's sweet. So, what happens next?

Peter: Well, the Lord says he's gonna take away all the idols and other gods they had been worshipping, like the time I threw away all the beer cans in the fridge.

Brian: That analogy doesn't quite work, Peter.

Peter: Alright, alright, so then the Lord says he's gonna give Israel all the good things they deserve, like the time I bought you that diamond necklace, Lois.

Lois: Peter, that was a very nice moment.

Peter: Alright, so then the Lord says he's gonna make Israel like a wild vine that produces fruit, like the time I grew tomatoes in the backyard.

Brian: Is it really necessary to keep making these pop culture references, Peter?

Peter: Yeah, it's the only way I can make sense of this. So, then the Lord says he's gonna make Israel prosperous, like when the Cleveland Browns finally won a game.

Lois: Alright, that's enough. So, to summarize, the Lord says he's gonna make a covenant with Israel and take away their idols and other gods, and give them all the good things they deserve and make them prosperous.

Peter: Yeah, that's about it.